# Living apart together
Couples who want togetherness and the freedom of being single, too
A few years ago, an essay by Isabelle Tessier, "I want to be single – but with you," zipped around the internet, amassing hundreds of thousands of likes. The longings Tessier described may well be even more widely shared now than they were then.
Committed couples who live apart: why they want that, and how women’s wishes matter more
“I need my space” is not just a bad excuse. One of the most important characteristics of people who embrace their single lives is a love of solitude. The “single at heart” – my name for people for whom single life is their best life, not some sorry second best – savor the time they have to themselves. Many also love living alone. That doesn’t mean they don’t also enjoy spending time with other people. Most of them enjoy that, too. There’s nothing special about wanting opportunities to socialize. Thinking about spending time alone and not worrying about being lonely – that is special.