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I talk about boundaries constantly. Whether it’s pertaining to my personal or my professional life, I hone in on them because for the first part of my life I didn’t even know what a boundary was.

Photo used by permission of Mara Rothman @ mararothman.com. I used to have a bevy of friends. Knowing there were people in my life to offset the debilitating loneliness and anxiety that accompanied familial estrangement was a significant source of comfort. The problem was, over time I discovered that these relationships stymied my growth. In some cases, they even caused deliberate harm.

I talk about boundaries constantly. Whether it’s pertaining to my personal or my professional life, I hone in on them because for the first part of my life I didn’t even know what a boundary was.

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on UnsplashPhoto by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash. (Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.) I read the email from Principal Myers that asked me to stop by his office after school. I gulped, afraid that he wanted to talk about the complaints that Ms. Putram made against Ms. Rochier, a teacher I worked with. Ms. Rochier and I had become close. I was a long-term substitute at the time – as a support person in her class. For weeks, I helped her manage the classroom. As I instructed students at a table in the back of the room, Ms. Rochier’s professionalism always shone through.

It does not require you to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. How to set boundaries in your lifeImage from Canva. Many things in life can feel out of control. You don’t have to be a victim of circumstance or someone else’s moods. There are several ways you can set your boundaries and let others know what you will and won’t accept.