# Narcissistic abuse
My sisters and I were groomed to be victims
** This article is based on nonfiction by actual events that I have experienced firsthand; used with permission. Devoutly religious parents raised my sisters and me in an era where children were supposed to be "seen but not heard." Our parents taught us that the husband is the head of the household and whatever he says goes. We were instructed not ever to question our father or our husband when we married.
Challenges in Handling Narcissistic Abuse
Abuse is about having power over someone. Abusers and narcissists typically want to feel superior and to control and dominate. The facts get in the way. When you react or argue, you're giving away your power. They provoke and use verbal abuse and/or violence to accomplish this. They're only interested in winning; thus abusers deny any responsibility and shift blame you. Their motive is to lift their self-esteem.
Science Explains Mind Control in Relationships
A new study sheds light on how people influence and control our mind. Research on mice, whose brains are remarkably similar to humans, reveals that our brains are affected by those around us. The key factor is dominance. The brain of the subordinate mouse synchronized to the dominant mouse. This likely applies to our relationships. Typically, people with stronger personalities make the decisions and get their needs met more often than their partners do.
Her husband gave her the silent treatment for six months
**This article is based on nonfiction by actual events that were shared with me by my friend; used with permission. My friend and I were neighbors and over the years she and I grew into close friends. We enjoyed each other's company and many of the same things. One afternoon I saw her sitting out on her balcony and she looked really sad so I grabbed a pitcher of iced tea and two glasses and went to join her.
Power and Control in Narcissistic Relationships
The core problem in relationships with narcissists is that they prioritize power and sacrifice the relationship to get it, while their partners prioritize the relationship and sacrifice themselves to keep it.
The Unconscious Force that Drives Narcissists and Their Abusive Behavior
Narcissists can be charming, charismatic, seductive, exciting, and engaging. They can also act entitled, exploitative, arrogant, aggressive, cold, competitive, selfish, obnoxious, cruel, and vindictive. You can fall in love with their charming side and be destroyed by their dark side. It can be baffling, but it all makes sense when you understand what drives them. That awareness protects you from their games, lies, and manipulation.
Many narcissists hide behind addiction
** This article is based on nonfiction by actual events that I have experienced firsthand; used with permission. A narcissist I know hid behind his addiction. I was a vulnerable single parent when I met the narcissist. He hid behind addiction and was like a silver-tongued snake pretending to help me when in fact, he was grooming me to be his next fix.
I was fooled by love bombing
It was straight out of a fairy tale. Flowers. Fancy dinners. Proclamations of how special our connection was. I was on cloud nine. Sold. I’m in. All in. Until the messages were less frequent. Then the effort to make plans started to wane.
Confronting Projection: Narcissists’ and Abusers’ Primary Weapon
Projection is a defense mechanism commonly used by abusers, including people with narcissistic or borderline personality disorder and addicts. Basically, they say, “It’s not me, it’s you!” When we project, we are defending ourselves against unconscious impulses or traits, either positive or negative, that we’ve denied in ourselves. Instead, we attribute them to others. Our thoughts or feelings about someone or something are too uncomfortable to acknowledge. In our mind, we believe that the thought or emotion originates from that other person.
What will the neighbors think?
**This article is based on nonfiction by actual events that were witnessed firsthand by me; used with permission. "What will the neighbors think?" Growing up in a devoutly religious family this would be something I would hear all through my childhood and into my adult life. Everything that I did would have that caveat to consider. Finding myself in an abusive narcissistic relationship wasn’t on my radar when I married and left home so when I began the process of separating myself from such an abusive situation those were the first words that I heard from my loving family.
Why There's No Way To "Fix" or Cure A Narcissist
You see, a Narcissist will willfully misrepresent their disordered thinking and behavior and even try to “game” the therapist. The person with NPD will not admit that there is anything wrong with them, unless they are “gaming” the therapist.
A Book Review of 'Divorcing Your Narcissist' by Tracy Malone
I am exceedingly grateful that although I was groomed to be supply, and consequently I was a narcissist magnet for much of my life, I never actually married anyone on the malignant end of the narcissism spectrum.
5 Reasons Why Narcissists Run From Their Partners
The reason why Narcissists do this is to get as far away from their partner’s “toxicity.”. The Narcissist’s immaturity creates dishonesty with you as well as themselves. Remember that Narcissism is a developmental/personality disorder, prompted by abuse. Their behaviors are dictated by the false cognitions of their inner, wounded child. The Narcissist learned that they are perpetually unsafe, and at the first sign of unhappiness in a relationship, they don’t have the wisdom to reasonably examine the motivations of themselves and others.
How Narcissists Deal With Confrontation
I do not think telling a narcissist that he or she is in fact a narcissist would be an endeavor that would yield any positive or constructive results. Once the narcissist knows a person is honing in on the truth of things, the narcissist will feel threatened and resort to…
Why A Narcissist Refuses to Give You Closure
When a narcissist refuses to give you closure, there are a couple of things going on. First of all, they want to elevate their own sense of low self esteem to one of grandiose superiority, therefore they stop talking to you in order to make their own self appear to be worthier or better than you or anyone they choose to use as a stepping stone to manufacturing a false high – “I’m superior. I don’t have to talk to you.”