How You'd Fare During the Apocalypse According to Your Astrological Sign

Words Actually
Woman chilling in a van with a gas mask and batPhoto by Alex Bortolato on Unsplash

Astrology isn’t just good for helping you locate potential mates or perfect career paths. If you study the stars you can find out if you’d make it when civilization falls. Though these aren’t completely accurate, since they lack birth locations and times, you can still get a rough idea of how you’d survive in a post-apocalyptic world.


Your typical bullheadedness will be the cause of your rise and eventual fall from power. Stick to your guns (and hide the literal ones from Virgos) when it comes to safety. You will be correct in your desire to hunker down in cleared locations. But don’t get so stubborn that you stifle your group’s growth. Accept new members as they arrive and pass the trials, or an outsider will oust you.


You’re a joy to be around! Yet the idea of you in charge is laughable. You lack the decisiveness needed to lead a raid. Luckily you are talented at endearing yourself to more powerful signs who need a confidant whom they don’t fear. Because let’s be honest Libra, you won’t be taking over anyone’s mall kindgom.


You’ll be fine. In fact you are the sign that most will come to be deathly afraid of. With that drive you can build a great post-apocalyptic society. Though cool it a little with the brutal punishments. You may not feel emotions, but those around you do. Remember, when you cut off one hand, ten more will be ready to stab you in the back.


You decide to go it alone, as a brave Leo who fears nothing. Also you are too sensitive to be around others who might question your survival (cannibalism) methods.


Ever the cold, calculative perfectionist, you make a good advisor. Knowing that leaders are often the first to be targeted when things go wrong, you survive by making sure you are always second in command. Be aware of which way the wind of popular opinion is blowing and you’ll ride out the worst when factions rise and fight for power.


As an adventurer you have trouble resisting exploring new territory. This means new troubles find you quickly. Seek other outlets to ease those itchy feet before they end up dissolved in a puddle of nuclear waste.


You’ll happily be the nurturing member of a group…until you don’t want to be. After being forced to play the caregiver you’ll lose your cool and drive away in a stolen car. Mutant birds might find and devour you, but at least they won’t have dishes for you to wash.


Don’t be so keen to throw away a good thing. The grass is not greener on the other side! There is literally no more grass. Stop moving from safe areas. People follow you because of your strong leadership skills and willingness to work hard. Refrain from taking foolish actions that could result in their deaths.


Honestly, you are way too sensitive and timid, making it unlikely that you will live past the first phase of the apocalypse. But before you die you will create lovely art depicting the downfall of mankind that future civilizations are going to find and study. Sorry about the untimely death thing though.


You are a follower. Whether as a productive member of a new society or as a group’s designated zombie fodder, you will find yourself fulfilling your desire to be useful.


Some would think you aren’t aware that an apocalypse even occurred since you act so casual. Talking about the future constantly, you are inflexible to changing your dreams to work with your new reality. Great news! If you got grit (and guns) you might make those goals happen.


Gloomy but practical, you have that every-cloud-has-a-silver-lining-because-of-the-toxic-atmosphere personality that is actually a boon during these end days. Though not much fun to have at a party, your instance on preparing for the worst case scenario keeps those around you safe.

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