We all have things or people from our past that we have had to let go of. Maybe it was the death of a loved one, a bad break up, or a childhood occurrence. Depending on our emotional stability and emotional intelligence, we all grieve having to let things go differently. That being said, it is still a very hard thing to do most of the time. So why is “letting go” so difficult? Why can’t we just accept it and move on from things that are no longer in our lives?
One reason we have a hard time is because our pasts and our previous circumstances are a part of what made us who we are. It is a part of our history that built us up to what we see in the mirror today. For some, that can be harder than others. We often forget that we can hold on to memories and thoughts without having to physically hold on to whatever it was we are letting go of.
In many cases, letting go also causes anxiety due to the fear of the unknown. Letting go of a job may bring fear of finding a new one or not making enough money. Letting go of a toxic person in our lives can cause us to wonder if we acted too hastily. Having to let go of a loved one to illness or accident can lead us to fear that it means we may not love them as much anymore or that our memories may begin to fade of that person. It is these fears that can cause the resistance to change (Celeste, 2020).
The process of letting go comes in stages that we ultimately have to accept in order to move forward. This can be particularly hard when it comes to letting go of people in our lives. For some reason, we have the hardest time letting go of the ones that are worst for us. Thankfully, this is not always the case. Holding on to things that we know we must let go of prevents us from true self-growth and potential while leaving us at a standstill.
The first way to get out of the resistance mindset is to understand and accept that change needs to happen, and in most cases, can’t be prevented. There are many things in this life that we have absolutely no control over such as other people’s actions. It is a great waste of energy and built-up strength to hold on to “what if’s”. Another way we can begin to heal and let go is to seek out the positive of every situation. While it may seem as though there are no benefits to certain bad situations, there is always a positive somewhere weather it be a lesson learned, a person no longer in pain, or a closed door leading to a better one opening. Looking for the positive in a situation is a better and more healthy way to exert energy and will lead to more positive outcomes.
Letting go of anything that has become a part of us is always a challenge. It can feel hopeless and impossible to get over at the time. It’s important to know that better days are ahead and that time has a way of healing. Time will never take away a memory; but will ease the pressure. It is a process and one that happens differently for everyone. Take your time and begin to accept that change can be okay. You have the power of letting go and growing as a person in the palm of your hand. You build strength with every step.
What are your thoughts? Have you had to let go of someone or something dear to you by choice or not? How did you get through it? Please remember to keep all comments and opposing opinions kind to avoid them being deleted. Follow me for more topics and a deeper look into this one coming soon.