Opinion: Narcissists Will Steal Credit When You Succeed and Blame You When They Fail

Walter Rhein

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Narcissists might engage in dramatic acts of extreme abuse. They also try to break their victims down with constant microaggressions.

People who live with narcissists adapt their behavior to avoid provoking their partner’s anger. Narcissists often believe that they are superior to everyone around them. They delight in being overly critical because those criticisms fit their delusional worldview.

This is why narcissists prefer to interact with others in the form of insults. A narcissist will never tell you that you look nice. Instead, he will always find something to criticize. The criticisms help him maintain his delusional belief that you will never rise to his level.

A narcissist will become angry at anything that does not fit his delusional worldview. If you beat a narcissist at a basic board game, he might fly into a rage.

Narcissists are not scientific thinkers. They don’t arrive at their conclusions based on evidence. Instead, they only recognize the evidence that supports the conclusions they prefer.

If you beat a narcissist at a board game, it makes the narcissist look stupid. Since the narcissist wants to believe he is smarter than everyone, any proof to the contrary makes him angry.

This belief extends to all aspects of your life. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist and you have any kind of personal or professional success, the narcissist will take it as a personal attack. If you make more money than a narcissist, the narcissist will see it as proof that you are smarter than they are and try to sabotage your job.

People who are involved with narcissists find it’s easier to adapt to the narcissist's demands than try to reason with them. Empathetic individuals who are involved in a long-term relationship with a narcissist learn to subvert their aspirations. They’d prefer to make less money and experience less success than give a narcissist a reason to be angry with them.

Narcissists deny your successes and focus on your failures. They do everything they can to contort reality so that it’s impossible for you to appear as better than they are. Sometimes they will become fixated on absurd criticisms because they are incapable of offering any form of recognition.

A narcissist will never hold himself accountable for his failures. If he fails to get a promotion at work, he’ll find a way to blame his partner or his children. The narcissist’s delusional opinion that he is a superior person is the only thing he cares about. When faced with contradictory evidence, he’ll search for somebody to blame.

People who are victims of narcissists take a long time to recover. The immediate abuse is removed when the narcissist is cut out of your life. The secondary abuse lingers on in the habits the victim adopted to avoid success and recognition.

All people have a right to be celebrated for their achievements. Individuals who cannot offer a compliment and instead focus on minor criticisms can have a toxic and debilitating effect on your life.

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Walter Rhein is an author with Perseid Press. He also does a weekly column for The Writing Cooperative on Medium.

Chippewa Falls, WI

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