“Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity.” — Nat Turner
We all know how great a good conversation feels: Harmony, being aligned with our conversation partner, feeling understood, and not realizing how quickly time passes.
Yet, unfortunately, most people experience bad conversations more often than great ones.
However, great conversations are no coincidence.
And those who leave you with a fantastic first impression do so because they are great communicators and know how to engage an audience.
We all like being around people who make us feel good, right?
So why not become one of these persons?
With a few techniques and practices, everyone can be an outstanding conversationalist and increase the wellbeing and trust of their conversation partner.
We all like talking. And most people genuinely enjoy talking about themselves.
However, as we all like to talk and share our own opinion, we mostly fail at properly listening to our conversation partners.
That’s why good listeners have a huge advantage in life.
They make us feel confident and comfortable by just letting us talk instead of interrupting.
Most of our conversations these days don’t consist of listening and talking but rather of interrupting each other.
While our partner is talking, we are already excited about sharing our next thought and stop listening to them.
That’s not only how misunderstandings but also how arguments arise.
If someone immediately answers once you stop talking, you can be sure they’ve already been thinking of what to respond to instead of adequately listening to you.
Actively listening to our conversation partner is not easy, and getting used to it might need some time, but it’s totally worth it.
Once you carefully listen to what people have to say, they will feel much more comfortable around you.
Show Honest Interest by Asking Questions
Whenever we meet someone new and want them to feel good around us, the first step is building safety and trust.
Properly listening to what they are saying is the very first step, but there’s one more thing we can do:
By asking engaging questions, we make our conversation partner feel appreciated.
Only by paying honest attention can we make those around us feel good in our company. And showing engagement by asking questions that dig deep is the best way to express curiosity in what someone is telling us.
Let’s be honest: Nobody wants small talk. We all want deep, profound conversations. And whenever someone wants to know more about us, our beliefs, our aspirations, we feel appreciated.
On top of that, we often connect with others through details. Finding out you have the same favorite meal or grew up in cities that are close to each other leads to deeper connections than talking about the weather.
Stop scratching the surface when meeting new people but also when talking to people whom you already know for years.
Get vulnerable and dig deep into the details to connect in a more emotional way that genuinely matters to both of you.
Focus on the Positive Characteristics
You can’t fully agree with everyone. And distinct opinions often make it hard to communicate without accusations and negative emotions.
But even if opinions differ, you can be a great conversation partner.
Anyone on this planet has strengths and positive characteristics. Even if we don’t see them in moments of disagreement, they exist.
And your task as an outstanding conversation partner is to entirely focus on these positive aspects and highlight them instead of arguing about topics you have distinct opinions about.
Even if you hate a person, you might be able to find at least one characteristic you admire.
No matter if it’s the style, the hair, the phone case, the voice, or the origin of your conversation partner; find something that genuinely excites you and keep that aspect in mind, or even start talking about it to create a positive atmosphere.
We all like to receive compliments, so why not give out more of them?
Find Ways to Help
We all like being supported, don’t we?
And we especially appreciate unexpected support.
Admittedly, offering help might not always be possible.
But once you start looking for ways to support other people, you’ll be surprised by how many different ways to support others actually exist.
In any conversation, you can ask your partner how you could add value to their life, business, and the competition of their goals.
You might be able to recommend a book, to connect them with someone who has some sort of expertise they need, you could create a simple social media post promoting their product or service,…once you start looking for ways to help, countless opportunities will arise.
People will value you much more when you can offer some sort of help to improve their lives, and additionally, they will also be much more willing to support you.
Meaningful conversations don’t need to be complicated.
In fact, the power of being an outstanding conversation partner lies in simplifying communication and the life of your counterpart.
Listen carefully to understand what your partner truly means instead of thinking about what to answer.
Show honest interest by asking engaging questions so that your counterpart feels appreciated and understood.
Focus on the positive characteristics and create a high-energy environment, even if you have different opinions.
Find ways to support your conversation partner to connect on a deeper level and become remarkable.