Photo: Everton Vila/Unsplash
As if being in a new relationship was not challenging enough, my partner and I started a business three months after meeting each other. Now, running a business with your better half is beautiful, but it’s also incredibly exhausting.
Our past three years have mostly been a grand roller coaster ride. Sometimes with more ups than downs and sometimes with way too many downs. To be honest, sometimes, I’m surprised that we made it through all the struggles at all.
At times, I thought our business struggles might kill our relationship, and at other times, the other way around.
However, if there’s one major lesson I learned about building a strong relationship during these three years, it’s that love requires action.
You deserve to be loved, but…
I grew up in a loving family that taught me I deserve the best in life. Believing that I was worthy and worth loving was quite simple as I was raised with these beliefs.
Little did I know this would become a true struggle later in life.
In all my relationships, I was convinced that I deserve to be loved. I was stubborn and unfair because I wasn’t willing to change myself or adapt in any way to be loved.
Now, I don’t believe anyone should ever change to be appreciated in a relationship.
But if there’s one thing I learned, it’s that an extraordinary relationship requires two extraordinary individuals.
And guess what: You don’t become extraordinary by accident.
It requires work.
It took me quite some time to understand that I’m not the perfect girlfriend and that I can’t expect people to appreciate me if I’m not open to adjusting myself.
This is not only true for romantic partnerships, but for any relationship in life.
Strong bonds require effort.
Or as Aristotle stated more than 2,000 years ago:
“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.”
Everybody wants strong relationships, but most people aren’t open to put effort into these bonds.
Yet, these relationships are what make life worth living.
It’s scientifically proven that loneliness can lead to premature death. Yet, most of us still struggle to let go of our ego and make our lives harder than needed.
Your relationship won’t work if you don’t do so
Not too long ago, I thought that being in a relationship was easier than dating different people and refusing to settle down.
I couldn’t understand why people keep swiping left and right and meeting people they barely know. At some point, however, I realized that dating is much easier than building a strong, solid relationship with someone whom you dedicate your whole life to.
Most of us (particularly millennials) grow up with wrong beliefs about love.
First, we watch Disney movies and listen to beautiful fairytales and their happy ends. And once we’re old enough, we see all these perfect relationships on Instagram, expecting our own life to look similar to the fake world of some influencers.
Even the most beautiful relationship has its ups and downs, and the only reason why some people end up living happily ever after is because they work for it.
What do you do in the middle of a fight? Aggressively promoting your own statements or putting effort into understanding your partner?
How often do you show or tell your partner you love her? Every now and then or as much as possible?
What do you do when the love of your life comes home? Warmly welcoming him or keep doing what you’ve been doing?
And how often do you actually take time just to enjoy the presence of each other?
A strong, lasting relationship doesn’t happen by coincidence. It’s the result of mutual respect, adaptability, and action.
We all seek affection and being loved, yet, this doesn’t happen by accident. Letting your loved one feel appreciated takes time and effort.
Finding someone with whom you want to share your life is a pure blessing. Sometimes, finding your soulmate might happen by accident, yet, it’s up to you to keep that magic light alive and make the relationship work.
Too often, we let life get in our way and hurt our loved ones because of trivialities. We even vent our frustrations on the person with whom we actually want to spend our entire lives with.
During these moments, it’s essential to remind yourself that love requires action and that your relationship is no triviality but a blessing that you need to take well care of.
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