Did you ever see someone who didn’t believe in herself getting what she wants? Me neither.
Success, however you may define it, always starts in your mind. Yet, most people sabotage themselves by consuming toxic information and believing common lies about what it takes to “make it big” in life.
The problem with accepting those lies is that they’ll lead to frustration and procrastination. Yet there are two steps to overcoming these lies:
#1 Learn to spot the lies you tell yourself and accept that they’re hindering your progress
#2 Train yourself to replace them with positive, realistic thoughts
Rewiring your brain isn’t easy because believing lies is much more comfortable than facing the truth and taking action.
Yet, it’s the only way to take responsibility and be the creator of your own reality.
“It will change.”
Many things in your life will change over the years.
However, quite often, what we really want to change stays the same. Yet these are the things that truly matter: Our daily routines, the behavior of a partner or boss, our financial situation —just to name a few.
These things don’t change accidentally; they require effort.
If you don’t tell your partner or boss to behave differently, they’ll likely never do so.
If you never track your income and expenses and don’t create an action plan to improve your financial situation, it’ll always stay the same.
Many things in your life will change anyway, but the most crucial things require effort.
So don’t wait for it to change, be the change yourself.
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who can’t change their minds can’t change anything.”
— George Bernard
“I need to find my purpose.”
So many people waste years looking for their “purpose” and consuming endless amounts of personal development content instead of taking action and working on their dreams.
That’s because most personal growth gurus preach that you need to have a purpose in order to succeed in life, but the reality is that defining your purpose isn’t easy.
While some people might be lucky to find their purpose early in life, the truth is that these are a minority.
Having a powerful purpose can indeed enrich your life, but looking for your purpose shouldn’t hold you back from taking action and making an impact.
Sometimes, you need to try different things in order to figure out what you want to do in life.
Stop sitting on the couch, wondering about your purpose and start doing.
There’s no better way to learn more about yourself than by having new experiences.
“It was easier for them.”
Most people waste their entire lives feeling sorry for themselves and looking for excuses.
They think that life is easier for others and that they deserve more, yet they’re not willing to make a change.
Life might indeed be easier for some people than for others, but the truth is that it doesn’t matter.
You can’t influence other people’s privileges. All you can do is focusing on yourself and making the very most out of your own situation.
If you’re always complaining about other people's advantages, you won’t have time to change your own situation.
“Don’t compare yourself to others. That’s when you start to lose confidence in yourself.”
— Will Smith
“I don’t know where to start.”
Every single day, you’re surrounded by hundreds of new opportunities.
And whenever you procrastinate, it’s likely because you’re afraid of failing or embarrassing yourself, not because you don’t know where to start.
The truth is that in most cases, where you start doesn’t matter and it’s more about starting at all.
You don’t need to know the entire course to get started. All you need to do is taking one small step after the other.
We often think that we “have lots of time”. and that we can “start later”. The reality, however, is that you actually don’t have that much time to turn your dreams into reality.
Most people spend a third of their lifetime sleeping and a third on trivial activities like eating, cleaning, or commuting.
Thinking that you still have lots of time is a big lie and can turn into one of the biggest regrets of your lifetime.
“I was born this way.”
This lie is a synonym for I want to stay this way and it essentially limits who you are and who you can become.
The reality is that we all change throughout our lives, regardless of how we’ve been born.
If you say, “I was born this way”, you’re just being close-minded and not taking responsibility for your own development.
What you should do instead is striving to become the best version of yourself by reflecting on your past, present, and future and using your strengths and weaknesses effectively.
“It’s not my fault.”
Whenever you could do something differently but choose to avoid it, you choose misery over freedom.
Your environment might’ve shaped your past, but you’re in charge of creating your reality now.
And whenever you choose to blame others instead of taking action yourself, your misery indeed becomes your fault.
Blaming others is the easiest thing to do, but it won’t ever bring you closer to your goals.
If you want to experience a change in your life, you need to use the resources you have and make the very most out of your time, regardless of your circumstances.
“I’ll be happy when I have X.”
If you can’t appreciate your life as it is right now, you won’t be able to better enjoy your days once you have “more”.
Most people fool themselves by saying they’ll be happy once they have something or once a certain situation changes.
The truth is that your happiness doesn’t depend on things.
It depends on your inner world and your ability to focus on the things you’re grateful for, even when difficulties arise.
“I don’t have time.”
We deceive ourselves but also others by thinking and saying that we don’t have time.
The harsh reality is that if something is important, you’ll make time for it.
If it isn’t important, you need to say I have other priorities instead of claiming that you don’t have time.
You can’t really “have time” anyway. All you can do is manage your time and energy to do the things you want to do.
And if you feel overwhelmed, it’s a sign that you’re lacking time-management skills or trying to do too many things at the same time.
Nobody will ever give you more time.
The reality is that if you don’t have time today, you’ll likely also be busy tomorrow, next week, and next month. So stop lying to yourself and others.
Instead, be honest about your priorities and ask yourself if specific projects, tasks, and people are really worth your time at all.
“I(t) need(s) to be perfect.”
Whenever you’re trying to do something perfectly, you’re likely just procrastinating.
In most cases, perfectionism is nothing more than an excuse for spending more time on a particular project instead of finalizing it.
“Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield. It’s a way of thinking that says: “If I look perfect, live perfect, work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism and blame. All perfectionism is, is the 20-ton shield we carry around hoping it’ll keep us from being hurt while in truth, it keeps us from being seen. Healthy striving is internally focused, it’s “I wanna do this and be the best I can be”, perfectionsim is not about what I want, it’s “What will people think” — you can’t ever do anything brave if you’re too worried about what people will think.” — Brené Brown
“Money is evil.”
Telling yourself lies such as “Money is evil”, “Money is dirty”, or “Rich people are greedy” is the most effective way of ensuring a lack of money.
Just think of it like a relationship: Imagine talking badly about someone all the time; would they feel comfortable being around you?
And it’s the same with money: If you’re not comfortable thinking and talking about money, you’ll likely experience a lack of it.
The truth is that money is neither good nor bad, it’s just a neutral source of energy.
What you do with money is up to you. You can do good things and bad things, but it’s certainly not the fault of money but yours.
If you want to attract and experience more wealth, start by questioning your belief system around money.
“I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Let’s be honest: You won’t.
The problem with delaying actions is that you’re likelier to give up entirely.
There’s no valid reason to start your new diet on Monday or start working on your goals by the beginning of a new year.
Too often, tomorrow turns into someday, which eventually turns into never.
If something is truly important, you need to make sure you take action now instead of waiting for time to pass.
The longer we wait, the harder it gets to stay motivated. The sooner you start, the quicker you’ll see results.
“I know what I’m doing.”
Thinking that you already know everything is the purest form of arrogance and a massive roadblock to success.
There’s nothing more beautiful than asking people for help and getting advice from those who are ahead of you.
Whenever you’re trying to solve a problem on your own because you think that “you know what you’re doing”, you’re likely wasting a lot of time, energy, and money.
You should be selective about whom you ask for advice, but you should be even more careful about putting your ego aside.