I know that you are sick of the “New year, new me” thing.
We all know that nothing changes due to a new year.
However, I think that a new year is a great time to set new intentions.
Even though I experienced some amazing things, published my first book, traveled a lot, moved into an apartment with my boyfriend, and significantly improved my relationship with my family, I was not entirely happy with how 2019 went for me.
That’s mainly because of business reasons.
I didn’t know what to focus on, and I somehow felt lost throughout the whole year.
And that was awful because I couldn’t even fully enjoy the brightest moments of my year.
However, when I look back, I realize that my problem was not the business itself.
It was my mindset and my attitude towards life.
Maybe it was even my expectations.
I don’t know.
And it doesn’t matter.
I can’t change what happened in the past months.
Yet, I am beyond grateful to have all means to create a significantly better future for myself.
In the past four weeks, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection.
I tried to better understand myself and my needs in order to create a more joyful and lovely life in 2020.
And while doing so, I came up with five things that I want to quit in 2020.
I know that these are not the easiest things to give up, and I also know that it’s not going to happen overnight.
But I am ready for the change and the effort.
I know how these little changes can have an enormous impact on my mental health and wellbeing, so I will give my best to keep them in mind every day.
Did you ever make a great decision because you thought about it for a long time?
We never make good choices by overthinking.
According to Malcolm Gladwell, we actually make all our choices in the blink of an eye.
Yet, oftentimes we are not aware of it and start overcomplicating.
In his book Blink, Gladwell explains how all our decisions are actually based on our intuition.
We don’t make the right decisions by thinking logically; we just try to find arguments for decisions that we already made based on our gut feeling.
And if there were an award for the greatest overthinker of the 21st century, I would probably be the first one to receive it.
I am a true master in overcomplicating anything.
And I know that it’s terrible.
That’s why I am working on it.
In the upcoming months, I will train myself to make quick decisions.
I want to go with the flow, make mistakes, and correct my course on the way instead of spending weeks thinking about an idea.
And I honestly believe that it starts with the small things.
Baby steps can lead to enormous changes, right?
Why not try to choose your next meal in a restaurant quicker than you’d usually do?
Why not be the one who suggests where to go and what to do when hanging out instead of saying, “I don’t know.” or “I don’t care.”?
Try to take control of the small things in your life.
Give your best to make the unimportant decisions as quickly as possible.
At least that’s what I will do.
2. Fearing change
On the one hand, I’d say that I am adventurous, on the other, I definitely fear change too often.
Currently, many things in my life are uncertain.
We might have to move out of our apartment in a few months, my boy just quit his job and doesn’t accurately know what he wants to do next and so on.
As you might imagine, that’s not the best condition to be in a calm state for someone who is often overthinking.
Yet, my intention for 2020 is to become friends with fear.
I guess it’s okay to respect change and new situations.
You don’t have to be cheerful about everything that happens in life.
Yet, your fear shouldn’t hold you back.
If I am honest, I know that I have a pretty secure life and that things could be way worse.
So why not embrace that fact?
We all know that things could be way worse at any point in our lives.
Even the fact that you are reading this article right now indicates that you are among the wealthier, privileged people of the world.
I genuinely love security and certainty. I believe most of us do.
However, I want to let go of fear.
I am giving my very best to create a life that fits my desires, yet I can not control external factors.
So I will learn how to get along with them and so should you.
In the end, as Oprah puts it:
“Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”
3. Living in the past
Investing too much energy in the past is one of the main reasons why we end up being unhappy and cheerless.
The surest way to be happy and fulfilled is by being present at any moment.
Instead of thinking about your mistakes in the past or fearing the future, try to be fully present right now.
Now is to only time you can affect.
You can’t change anything about the past, and you can’t determine your future either.
However, you can give your very best to enjoy every moment and live intentionally.
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
4. Negative self-talk
If you had a friend who followed you around 24/7 telling you:
“You are too fat.”
“You are ugly.”
“You can’t do that.”
“You aren’t worth it.”
..you would probably tell them to f**ck off, right?
So why are you allowing your own negative thoughts to get in the way of your success?
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
― Lao Tzu
In 2020, I will heavily invest in my own wellbeing.
My morning routine is a high priority, and I give myself the time that I need to be in a strong, powerful state.
I do a lot of journaling, meditation, and self-reflection exercises to empower myself and become my best version.
Your relationship with yourself is the most important one.
You are the only person who’ll be with you throughout your whole life.
So make sure to get on well with yourself and be your own cheerleader.
5. Trying to please everyone
How much time do you spend on things that actually don’t matter?
For me, the number of hours in 2019 was way too high.
That’s why I decided to reduce it drastically.
I love making people happy.
And I love doing favors.
Yet, I won’t do it just to please someone else anymore.
Saying no to things that drain your energy can be the biggest game-changer.
Plus, saying no to the wrong things allows you to say yes to things that genuinely excite you and bring you forward in life.