Things Single Women Should Do For Themselves
You deserve to be treated right, even if you need to do it yourself. If there is one assumption about single life that I loathe more than anything else, it’s the idea that single women are somehow lacking. Lacking what? Name it. Companionship. Contentment. Love. Self-actualization. None of this is true.
Read full storySay Goodbye to Online Dating and Hello to the Meet-Cute
I’m putting my faith in a Hollywood-created concept. It’s fine. I met my college boyfriend in the poetry section of Bookman’s in Flagstaff, Arizona. If that does not scream “I was an overly emotional 19-year-old English major attending a small liberal arts college,” I do not know what does. I was with my friend Winnie. No, seriously. I was also the girl in college who had friends named Winnie. I was smitten the second I saw him.
Read full storyAssumptions About Singlehood That Don't Ring True
No, ma’am, I do not think that you “totally get it!”. The last four years have been an on-again, off-again love affair. Of course, not with anyone in particular but rather with the whole concept of dating. There has been either darkness or light, feast or famine.
Read full storyCan Our Thinking Sabotage Our Relationship?
There’s a fine line between self-empowerment and self-sabotage. Being a feminist ain’t easy. It’s also not unlike being a writer. I can tell ten different people I’m a writer and they have ten different ideas about what that looks like. I can also get ten different writers in a room and hear ten different perspectives about what they do and why.
Read full storyWhat to Do When You're Dating The "Wrong" Person
It doesn’t matter which side of this statement you’re on. It’s hard. Technically speaking, it was our fifth date. Of course, there were three years between our first and second date so the timeline is a little weird, to begin with. So, maybe it was our fourth date. It really doesn’t matter.
Read full storyApproaching Women in Public Needs a Little Finesse for Success
A quick guide to not being creepy or weird. I recently wrote an article about a man who walked up to a nice-looking woman in a restaurant and got shot down like a stunt plane in Top Gun. There were comments. So. Many. Comments. There was one that popped up a number of times that warrants some discussion, one question that I have been mulling over for days now.
Read full storyWomen Are Setting High Standards and Choosing to Stay Single
Men, of course, are single because women have these high standards. Yesterday, I took myself out to lunch. When I’m by myself, I always sit at the bar. I feel like it’s courteous. This way, I don’t take up a table and the bar always offers surprising company I wouldn’t otherwise meet sitting by myself.
Read full storyKids Become an Issue For People Dating Over a Certain Age
We were set up for this dating fail long ago. I had two very different conversations with two different people on the same subject: how someone’s kids become an issue for people dating over a certain age. That certain age, it seems, is about 45. There’s a reason for that number and there’s a reason for the issue.
Read full storyObliterating A Main Source of Vanity
I’m not getting any younger so I might as well do it now. The path to self-love and radical self-acceptance is a long one. I’ve been walking it for a long time and I can honestly say I have turned back and started over more than a few times. It’s not easy. It sounds big and bold but it’s dark and unruly regardless of the number of women who have traversed it before me.
Read full storyThere Are Others Options If You Don't Want to Date
Now may not be your time, and it certainly isn’t mine. Once again, I have found myself on the business end of a breakup. When this happens, there is always an internal struggle for me. Part of me feels like if I don’t get back on the horse, I am intentionally hiding my heart away from people who may be worthy of it. Another part recognizes the great value of hitting the pause button.
Read full storyThe Evolution of Finding A Soulmate
I’ve morphed my philosophy more times than I imagined I would. I used to truly believe that there was someone out there for everyone. That was when I was young and full of hope. Last year.
Read full storyWhat Do Women Really Want? Pockets.
And not those chintzy ones, either. Real. Pockets. Fact: There is no time more joyful in a woman’s life than the moment she realizes her dress has pockets. She could find out she got a raise and that would be great, but give her a dress with pockets and something magical happens. Her face will light up. Her eyes will grow wide. She may squeal with delight.
Read full storyWhoever Told You Love Should Be Easy Was Wrong
It’s hard work and it’s worth it. Once upon a time, someone told me love should be easy. I believed them. It was all horseshit. The idea of easy love landed me married to the first of my two husbands at 27. He was my best friend. He was easy to be with. He was good enough. So I married him. When it got hard, when we struggled, he wasn’t all in. I was until I just couldn’t anymore.
Read full storyYour Comfort Zone is Pretty Awesome
There’s no shame in staying there. “Everything good happens outside of your comfort zone.” You could discount the price on that and put it on an endcap at Target. I still don’t think I’d buy it.
Read full storyThe Theory of Relativity Applies to Emotions
There is an inherent flaw in emotional logic. It stems from the fact that a good number of people hear those two words together and it does not compute. Emotions and logic are two great tastes that do not taste great together.
Read full storyDon’t Tell Me I’m Too Old to Do Something
For the life of me, I can’t understand why other people feel entitled to tell us how we should live. It’s a little sanctimonious. Okay, a lot. My social media feed frequently includes clickbait links to ridiculous listicles. My beef with my Facebook reminding me that I’m old is a whole other topic. The fact that I use Facebook is proof, however, that I am old.
Read full storyKnowing What’s Broken Is Good Enough
The rest you can sort through when it’s time. I’m a fighter. It’s not always a good thing. I’d like to say that I’ve fought so much, for so long, for my mental health. But I haven’t.
Read full storyWhy Teachers Quit Their Jobs
I became a high school English teacher for two reasons: I liked a college major where homework involved reading a book in bed and I had seen Dead Poet’s Society 184 too many times. This seems to be the story of most high school English teachers.
Read full storyWhat’s Made Me Feel Like A Feminist Hack
I’ve had a lot of conversations with people recently about feminism and what it means. When I explain my stance on feminism, it rarely involves anything having to do with the workplace. Now it makes me feel like a hack.
Read full storyIf You Don’t Take Action, You’re Complicit
Simply ignoring others’ horrible actions or statements means agreement. I understand this seems overly simple. The fact is, there’s little complexity to this concept whatsoever. It holds true based on the general idea that we’re made up of a moral and ethical fabric that should compel us to denounce wrongdoing.
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