On August 27, 2023, a man took to Reddit to ask for advice. You see he and his wife have a baby, and he locked himself in the basement for four hours to avoid helping his wife take care of their child. Now he wants to know if he was in the wrong. You be the judge.
For clarity, we will call the man John and his wife Jane, but these are not their real names.
John (30) and his wife Jane (29) have been married for four years and recently welcomed their 2-month-old daughter, Rose, into their lives. Jane is a stay-at-home mother, while John works remotely as a software engineer, making it feasible for them to share childcare duties.
The couple decided to allocate personal breaks during the weekend. On Saturday, Jane spent the day with her friends, planning to return by 8 p.m. However, she didn't arrive home on time, and when John called her at 8:30 p.m., she informed him of a spontaneous sleepover, entrusting him with Rose's care for the night. It was particularly challenging for John as Rose has colic, resulting in frequent crying and restless nights. They often took shifts to attend to Rose due to her demanding nature. Consequently, John found himself awake all night.
Jane returned home inebriated at 4 a.m., immediately falling asleep. Come morning, John prepared breakfast, consisting of fast food, for both of them. Jane confessed to feeling unwell and requested John's continued assistance with Rose. Though fatigued and slightly resentful—since this was meant to be his break—John agreed. After their meal, Jane retired to their room. Hours passed, forcing John to cancel a lunch engagement with his buddies.
When Jane woke up at 3 p.m., John handed over their daughter, declaring his intent to unwind in the basement, watching a movie and catching up on lost sleep. He specifically requested not to be disturbed. After making a quick meal, he settled in the basement, unintentionally dozing off. Upon waking up around 7 p.m., he discovered numerous missed calls from Jane.
Confronting her upstairs, Jane chastised him for his prolonged absence. In his defense, he reminded her of her recent drinking episode, which left him alone, sleep-deprived, and caring for their colicky child. Distressed, Jane rebuked him for making her feel guilty, to which John replied:
At least I didn't get blackout drunk and leave you to take care of a colic baby for more than a day on your own without any sleep.
Was John in the wrong for secluding himself in the basement for several hours, leaving his wife to tend to their infant alone? Chime in by leaving a comment below.