Groomsman ditches his assigned bridesmaid for another woman of a different race, angering the bride

Tracey Folly

Is an individual who recently posted about a wedding disaster on Reddit in the wrong for distancing himself from his assigned bridesmaid at a wedding in favor of another bridesmaid who was younger and of a different race? You be the judge.

A close college friend of the original poster [OP], named Tom, was set to marry his fiancée, Liz. He invited a friend from across the country [the OP], who was honored to be chosen as a groomsman even though he hadn't seen Tom in a long time.

Upon reaching the wedding destination, the groomsman was paired with a bridesmaid named Kelly. The only evident reason for their pairing seemed to be their shared race, as both were black. Liz implied that the two of them, being single, would be a great match. It was noteworthy that Liz had more bridesmaids than Tom had groomsmen.

During an outing with the entire wedding party, Kelly expressed an interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with the groomsman. However, he wasn't interested and declined her advances.

When questioned about his decision, he stated his disinclination towards short-lived relationships and pointed out the impracticality of their residing in different states. Kelly, while initially disappointed, respected his decision.

However, as the festivities continued, an unpaired bridesmaid named Jen began communicating privately with the groomsman, and the two quickly connected. The wedding ceremony was smooth, and the groomsman did his ceremonial dance with Kelly. Later, he danced with Jen, leading to noticeable displeasure from Kelly.

The situation escalated at the bar, where both Liz and Kelly confronted the groomsman. They criticized his choice to dance with Jen, mentioning the age gap, with him being 32 and Jen nearing 25.

Liz, visibly upset, emphasized that Jen was still a student (though in a Master's program) and indicated that she found their interaction distasteful at her wedding. Kelly accused him of having a preference for white women. Recognizing the futility of arguing, the groomsman excused himself from the wedding, citing an early flight. Shortly after, both he and Jen were removed from the wedding group chat.

The groom later revealed to the groomsman that Kelly had been deeply upset, which in turn had ruined Liz's evening. Tom also shared that he had warned Liz beforehand that Kelly might not be the groomsman's type, but Liz had been keen on pairing them together. The groomsman felt regret that he had unintentionally overshadowed Liz's special day. As for Kelly, he wished she had understood his initial refusal.

However, all that notwithstanding, the OP had no obligation to create a love match with his paired bridesmaid, regardless of race. He had neither asked to be set up with one of the bride's friends nor made aware of it before the wedding.

What do you think? Was the groomsman [OP] wrong for ditching his assigned bridesmaid for another woman (also a bridesmaid) after completing his groomsman duties? Chime in.

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