A woman took to Reddit recently to explain a tricky situation involving her daughter-in-law's child and her son, who is not the biological father.
The August 23, 2023 post explaining the family dilemma has already amassed a whopping 2.2K comments.
The original poster's [OP] son was once married to a woman named Emma. They have since divorced. During their marriage, they had a child. However, the OP's son had doubts regarding the child's paternity and conducted a DNA test. The results confirmed he wasn't the biological father.
Despite this revelation, the OP's son continued to play an active role in the child's life, having been a part of it for four years. His name is also on the birth certificate, making him legally responsible. Moreover, he holds deep affection for the child.
The OP's concern stems from the fact that, prior to the divorce, she was never granted the opportunity to spend time with her grandchild. Every time she offered to babysit, both parents declined, saying her house was not childproof and expressing doubts about her capability, even though she had successfully raised four children. They also refrained from bringing the child to significant family gatherings, including Christmas celebrations. This exclusion wasn't limited to her; it extended to all his siblings.
The OP believes her son's city job has changed his perspective, making him feel superior to his more country-oriented family. This perceived attitude has caused a rift between him and his siblings.
After the divorce, the OP's son began to have the child almost half the time. He frequently requested his mother's assistance in babysitting. However, she declined, reminding him of his earlier reservations about her capabilities and the fact that she wasn't even allowed to be a part of the child's life when he believed he was the biological father. Their disagreements escalated, culminating in a major argument. She suspects his sudden change in attitude is due to his inability to depend on his ex-wife.
Regarding the claim of her house being unsafe [because of horses], the OP clarified in other comments that all potentially dangerous areas or items are securely locked away. She has taken care of her other grandchildren without any issues arising.
Her former daughter-in-law clearly doesn't like her. After all, refusing to accept help from someone is one of the signs that your in-law isn't a fan, according to Narcissistic Life. That surely doesn't sweeten the pot.
Some biological grandmothers won't even babysit without being financially compensated.
Is she wrong for refusing to babysit her son's ex-wife's daughter now that she knows she has no biological ties to the child? Comments are welcome.