Man asks wife of cheating husband for advice: 'Should I tell my friend's wife that her husband is cheating on her?'

Tracey Folly

*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a family member, who experienced them firsthand; used with permission.

A female family member was in a tough situation. Her husband was cheating on her. It wasn't new, and it wasn't a secret. They had been married for decades, and he had been cheating on her for just as long. She ignored it, and she tolerated it. Maybe she shouldn't have, but it was her decision to make, and she had made it a very long time ago.

One day, her husband's best friend came to the house and asked her for advice. He explained that he had a friend who was cheating on his wife, and he wanted to know whether he should tell the man's wife about his infidelity.

My relative knew immediately he was talking about her husband. That put her in a difficult spot. She didn't want to admit to knowing her husband was cheating on her, and she didn't want to encourage his friend to tell her about it. In fact, she didn't want to discuss it at all.

She assured the man that the cheater's wife surely knew about her husband's infidelity. After all, if everyone else knew about it, then she would, too.

The man didn't want to let it go. He kept explaining what a wonderful woman his friend's wife was and how sad he felt that his friend would cheat on such an amazing person. It seemed as if he had already made up his mind to spill the beans on his friend's behavior. He was just looking for approval or at least a little encouragement that he was doing the right thing.

My relative didn't want to hear it. The entire conversation was going on for far too long, and the more details he let slip about the scorned wife the more convinced she became that it was actually her.

"I knew from the moment he first spoke," she told me. "I'm not dumb."

Finally, she told him firmly and without room for argument that he was to keep his suspicions to himself and "leave that poor woman alone." She promised him that, based on the information he'd given her, there was "absolutely no way his wife doesn't already know," and then she practically pushed him out the door onto the porch.

Even though she managed to convince the man not to tell his friend's wife (herself) about his infidelity, he had done his job well. Although the news of her husband's cheating wasn't news at all, now she knew that everyone knew she was being cheated on. And that didn't make her happy at all.

They never had another discussion about the topic, which was probably for the best.

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