*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission.
Do you know how they say your wedding day is supposed to be the best day of your life? I'm convinced it's because marriage is all downhill from there. What can I say? My marriage started coasting downhill on the morning of the ceremony. By the wedding night, we were in freefall.
My husband and I had plans to drive to New Hampshire on our wedding night in order to wake up in the mountains on the first morning of our honeymoon. So when my husband began drinking festively before we even said, "I do," I reminded him he needed to be sober enough to drive once the last wedding guest went home.
I reminded him more than once.
As the afternoon wore into evening, my husband continued to drink. I'd venture to guess he was the drunkest he'd been in his life. He was certainly the drunkest I'd seen him in our two years together. That wasn't a good sign.
After our guests were gone and we'd opened all the envelopes containing monetary gifts, and sorted the checks from the cash, we were ready to hit the road for our New Hampshire honeymoon. The only problem was my husband could barely walk a straight line never mind drive.
I had just gotten my driver's license, and I had never learned to drive on a highway, and my poor eyesight meant I couldn't drive in the dark. It was either let the drunk drive or his nearly blind wife.
My new in-laws pointed out that there was another option. She offered to let us spend the night at her house, kindly pointing us toward the guest room that had once been their bedroom. They had since moved into the room that used to be my groom's room before his mother threw him out and sent him to live with his dad.
My groom's old room was larger and had its own balcony. It didn't matter because we didn't want to stay in my in-laws' house. We wanted to hit the road like the pseudo-adults we were, intoxicated or not. He was; I was not.
In the end, we made it to the New Hampshire border before stopping for the night. I'm sure it was a mistake to allow him to drive in his inebriated state; it was even more of a mistake to encourage him. I realize that now, and I'm glad no one got hurt.
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