*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission.
I've never been comfortable with my body. If I'm at a bar, I'm hunched over in the corner, trying not to draw attention to myself. I don't like being seen.
When I was a newlywed bride, I had a best friend who was the complete opposite.
She was a dancer with a tiny, toned, fit, yet shapely, body, and she loved being on full display. When she walked, she pranced. She wiggled her perfectly proportioned assets when she was doing something as simple as crossing the floor to reach the restroom in a crowded bar.
My friend acted like the world was a stage and all eyes were on her. She had both the looks and the confidence to pull it off.
Imagine having a best friend you can't stand to be around because you're afraid her beauty makes you look even worse by comparison. That was our relationship. I was jealous of her.
Why then did I think it was a good idea to introduce her to my husband?
Truth be told, they would have made a beautiful couple. They were both short in stature, with delicate bone structure, effortless muscle tone, flat abs, and olive skin. They looked almost like siblings.
They both liked to have fun and party and move their bodies while I was sour and sullen and tried to remain immobile, thinking, as with the t-Rex in Jurrasic Park, that no one could see me if I remained perfectly still.
That brings us to a game of darts. I didn't even know how to play darts.
The three of us went to a sports bar. Someone decided to play a game of darts. It wasn't me.
I felt awkward, knowing I would miss the dartboard for sure and I wouldn't even look good doing it. I gave up after throwing a couple of darts and retreated to my corner, leaving my best friend and my husband to play darts alone together.
They seemed to enjoy it, and they would have been a handsome couple. If only they had met first, it would have saved me a lot of trouble. They bonded over that game of darts. Their connection was undeniable. I could see it from my sulking spot.
We went back to that sports bar several times over the next few weeks, always as a trio. I didn't even pretend to participate in their darts games anymore. I just left them to their game and their banter.
When I learned they were spending time together without me, I wasn't even surprised. It all started with a game of darts.
At the time, I was furious. I blamed myself for inviting my friend to the sports bar with me and my husband.
Looking back on it now, I wish I had encouraged them to leave me for each other. They had a lot more in common with each other than either of them had with me.
What would you have done? Comments are welcome.
Why would you want to Buy Me a Coffee? I am a full-time writer and a full-time unpaid caregiver to my 82-year-old father, who lives with Parkinson's. 100% of your tip or donation goes toward paying for my dad's groceries. Thank you.
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