Groom refuses to shower or brush teeth on wedding night

Tracey Folly

*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission.

From what I'm about to tell you, you might imagine my husband and I were a match made in heaven. Nothing could have been further from the truth, but we did have something in common.

We both got married with greasy unwashed hair. It was almost as if we had planned it that way, which we hadn't.

On my wedding day, I didn't wash my hair or take a shower. On my wedding night, my husband refused to take a shower or brush his teeth. It was a hot day on the edge between summer and fall. Everyone needed a shower. So what gives?

I have no idea. It's just the way things went down. I didn't plan it, and I doubt my husband did either.

That's what happens when two kids in their late teens (18+) decide to get married, they don't bother showering, or renting a venue, or contracting a caterer, or even showing up on time.

My husband did take a shower the following morning, and I kid you not, the overhead light fixture in the bathroom literally exploded while he was in the shower stall, showering the bathroom with bits of broken glass. Fortunately, he was safe and unscathed behind the shower door.

Instead of cleaning up the glass since I didn't have a broom or a dustpan, I laid the hotel bath towels atop the broken glass so my husband could safely escape the bathroom. I didn't get to take a shower until we checked into our next hotel the following night.

As we skulked out of the hotel, I let the front desk clerk know about the broken glass. I felt guilty even though it had happened spontaneously. To this day, I wonder about the explanation for that exploding bathroom light fixture on my wedding night.

I also wonder whether the hotel staff thought we did it on purpose.

Was it a warning? Definitely maybe.

On the second night of our honeymoon, there was a long black hair stuck to the wall of our hotel room shower. It was an unwelcome sight, but I didn't call the front desk or call out housekeeping over it. I just picked it up with a piece of toilet paper and discarded it before my husband could see it.

I had a feeling it would upset him to see a stranger's hair clinging to our rented wall, and I didn't want to find out if I was right.

Winding things up, my husband barely showered the entire time we were married. It got so bad I ended up moving across the hallway to a separate bedroom. His body was outlined in the dirt on his bedsheets.

Today, I'm a bit of a clean freak, and one thing is certain, I'd never skip a shower long enough to stain the sheets.

What do you think of skipping a shower now and then? What if it's your wedding day? Comments are welcome.

Why would you want to Buy Me a Coffee? I am a full-time writer and a full-time unpaid caregiver to my 82-year-old father, who lives with Parkinson's. Your tip or donation allows me to provide for his care and comfort around the clock while working from home. Thank you.

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Ordained Minister, Universal Life Church

Massachusetts State

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