My boyfriend promised marriage if we dated for 3 years: Then he didn't propose marriage until 3 years after we broke up

Tracey Folly

*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission.

I got married at nineteen, and I got divorced at twenty-four. I've never considered getting remarried since my divorce. I am happily divorced, far happier than I could ever be married.

None of the men I've dated since my divorce wanted to get married, either. Perfect. That's the one thing we had in common.

When I began dating a man who said he wanted to date for three years before talking about marriage, I readily agreed. I didn't think I'd be ready to consider marriage in three years, but that seemed so far in the future that I figured it didn't matter.

If we actually made it three years down the line, I'd figure it out then. In the meantime, I was just having fun.

We ended up dating for eight years. Three years into our eight-year relationship, I felt anxious thinking he might bring up marriage. I hadn't changed my mind about not wanting to get married, but I'd never been honest and admitted it to him.

As the three-year deadline came and went, I decided I needed to address the situation before I ended up being the target of an unwanted surprise proposal. To my surprise and relief, my boyfriend didn't want to get married either.

I was a little offended; I can't lie. But at least I didn't have to worry about getting married again. We were on the same page except for a few little minor details.

My boyfriend thought I was lying about not wanting to get married. He thought it was a case of sour grapes, and that I only said I didn't want to marry him because marriage wasn't on the table. He was wrong.

I did not want to marry him. In fact, I wanted out of the relationship. I held onto the relationship for years past its expiration date and finally had enough and broke up with him. It was the best decision of my life.

Two weeks after we broke up, the phone calls began. He didn't stop calling me until I changed my number over three years after we broke up. Something else happened three years after I ended the relationship. My ex-boyfriend asked me to marry him three years after I broke up with him.

"I should have married you," he sobbed on the phone one night after calling me from an unlisted number.

"But I never wanted to marry you. Remember?" I replied.

"You're just saying that to be mean," he insisted.

I can say with complete honesty that wasn't true.

Years have passed, and I still haven't changed my mind. I have no regrets about ending the relationship and even fewer regrets about declining his sudden marriage proposal three years after we broke up.

Maybe he finally got the message after I changed my number.

What would you have done? Comments are welcome.

Why would you want to Buy Me a Coffee? I am a full-time writer and a full-time unpaid caregiver to my 82-year-old father, who lives with Parkinson's. Your tip or donation allows me to provide for his care and comfort around the clock while working from home. Thank you.

Comments / 315

Published by

Ordained Minister, Universal Life Church

Massachusetts State

More from Tracey Folly

Comments / 0