Man demands girlfriend wash his car on a date: 'He didn't pay me a penny or lift a finger to help'

Tracey Folly

*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission.

My boyfriend liked having other people do things for him. Whenever his parents said they were going to the market, he gave them a list of things to pick up for him.

Whenever I said I was going to Walmart, he gave me a list, too. Then there was the time he filled the back of my truck with jugs of used motor oil, telling me how convenient it would be for me to drop them off for him while I'm there anyway.

It was not convenient. In fact, the jugs fell over and spilled gallons of used motor oil into the bed of my truck, ruining everything I had back there including my favorite tote bag.

One day, my boyfriend asked me to wash his car while we were on a date. I almost said no, but I agreed. And then I felt weird about it afterward. Like I had been taken advantage of.

I was in my thirties and he was ten years younger than me. We met at work, where I was the only female supervisor for the whole company, and he was one of the few males in my department.

He developed a crush on me right away. It took me a few days before I caught up with him.

We dated for eight years, breaking up once and getting back together when he realized what a great catch I am. Then I broke up with him. But that's not the story here. The story is about how he made me wash his car on a date once because he didn't want to do it himself. So anyway...

A few years ago, we decided to have dinner at his house before going out on the town. I paid for dinner, and I picked it up on the way to his house. He didn't pay me a penny or lift a finger to help.

After dinner, he asked me if I would wash his car even though I had already paid for dinner. I was upset about being put in that position and it ruined my mood completely. I didn't mind paying for dinner, but shouldn't it have been quid pro quo?

He should have been the one washing my car.

Of course, I agreed. What else could I say? As a woman, it's hard not to feel like you have no choice sometimes.

We both worked full-time and split many household chores at his place, including taking care of his dogs, cleaning the bathroom, and washing dishes. We didn't live together.

This felt different to me somehow. It was the first time I had been put in that position, and I didn't like it at all. I felt like he was taking advantage of me like he'd turned on his charm and called me over expecting me to do everything for him. I also felt like he was treating me like his maid or mother.

Besides, I had my own car to wash.

It was supposed to be a date. Instead, I found myself drenched in dirty water and sweat crawling around his car trying to clean it to his exact specifications on a hot summer day while he watched, barked orders, and didn't get his hands dirty. Yes, I'm still bitter.

Should I be upset about this? Comments are welcome.

Why would you want to Buy Me a Coffee? I am a full-time writer and a full-time unpaid caregiver to my 82-year-old father, who lives with Parkinson's. Your tip or donation allows me to provide for his care and comfort around the clock while working from home. Thank you.

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Ordained Minister, Universal Life Church

Massachusetts State

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