*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as told to me by a family member, who experienced them firsthand; used with permission.
A family member once confided that his girlfriend refused to pay full price for a Big Mac when she could use a fast food hack to get a smaller Big Mac for a smaller price.
I immediately suggested he break up with her. She sounded far too high-maintenance to be a part of our family. I had a lot of feelings about his fast food confession. First of all, who wants a smaller Big Mac? They're supposed to be big. It's in the name. Second of all, how brash do you have to be to give McDonald's workers a list of modifications to your burger just to fake a Big Mac?
Let them do their jobs without your drama. Just buy the Big Mac if you want one.
For those who wonder what her Big Mac hack looked like, it was this. Order a cheeseburger, add Big Mac sauce, and add lettuce.
When preparing to write about this so-called hack, I decided to do a quick Internet search to see if other people are hacking their Mac Attacks. Not surprisingly, they are.
A BuzzFeeder said this about hacking a Mac:
"Instead of getting a Big Mac, I get a McDouble with Mac sauce and lettuce. It's essentially the same, but cheaper and without the extra bun slice."
Personally, I enjoy the extra bun slice. If I didn't, I wouldn't order a Big Mac. I was stunned to learn some people don't actually like having that two-sided inner bun in the middle of all that beef, sauce, cheese, onion, and lettuce.
For those who want less bun but don't mind paying to waste it, there's this hack from Instagram user Jonathan Massaad. Just move the middle bun to the top and toss out the top of the sandwich.
I'll never understand this hack as it removes the sesame seed portion of your Big Mac and leaves you grasping an inner bun that may already have bits of sauce, onions, or lettuce clinging to it, not to mention grease from the patty. As someone who likes to keep her hands clean while eating as much bread as possible, this hack gets a firm "No" from me.
If you're having trouble envisioning it, here's a video to help you:
As the video points out, you could also ask the cashier to leave out the middle bun, at your own risk.
My advice: Just order something off the menu that you actually want to eat.
McDonald's menu items are meant to be one-size-fits-all, they are not bespoke luxury items, and whoever came up with slogans like Burger King's "Have It Your Way" weren't working behind the counter.
Be kind, and give your friendly local fast-food workers a break by ordering off the menu and keeping things simple. There are other people in line behind you.
What do you think? Do you order off the menu, or do you ask for every modification possible in your search for the greatest Big Mac ever? Comments are welcome.