Woman loses 20 pounds to please her partner: Then he tells her to 'lose another 20 and then another 20 ...'

Tracey Folly

*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission.

When I first started dating my ex, I was immediately drawn to his confidence and sense of humor. He was always the life of the party, and I loved being around him.

However, over time he started to make comments about my weight. At first, I brushed them off, but eventually, they started to take a toll on my self-esteem. My boyfriend told me he wasn't attracted to me because I was overweight. In fact, he told me this more than once.

Needless to say, I wasn't pleased.

Now, you may be wondering how slender and handsome my boyfriend was, in order for him to complain about such things. I assure you, he was just as overweight as I was if not more so. In my opinion, that meant he should have kept quiet about my figure.

The way I see it, if you're not attracted to another person due to their weight or their appearance in general, don't start dating them. Dating someone and then asking them to change is rotten behavior.

I felt heartbroken at his comments. So I decided to do something about it. I went on a strict diet and exercise program, eating only fat-free cottage cheese three times per day and working out five times per week after work.

After a month, I lost twenty pounds.

My boyfriend didn't seem to notice. So I pointed my rapid weight loss out to him.

"That's great," he said flatly. "Now, you can lose another twenty pounds in a month, and then another twenty pounds in a month, and then another twenty pounds in another month."

"Wait a second," I said. "How many 'twenty pounds' do you actually think I need to lose?"

He didn't answer. He didn't have to. I can do the math. Twenty plus twenty plus twenty plus twenty equals eighty.

"You think I need to lose eighty pounds?" I was incredulous and angry.

I certainly didn't plan to lose a total of eighty pounds. I didn't have eighty pounds to lose. Not even close. Now, I was insulted even more than I already had been. I was furious, in fact.

I immediately abandoned my diet. Let's face it. Eating fat-free cottage cheese three times per day isn't a sustainable way to lose weight anyway. It's certainly no way to live.

And I had embarked on such an extreme diet to please my boyfriend, who clearly wasn't pleased. So what was the point? I was better off alone.

I began to feel like I would never be good enough for him. Eventually, I realized that he was never going to be satisfied with my appearance, and I broke up with him. Now I am focused on living a healthy lifestyle for myself, not for anyone else.

What do you think? Would you go on a diet to please your partner if you were comfortable with your own weight? Comments are welcome.

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Writing about relationships online since 2009.

Massachusetts State

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