Woman horrified to learn her boyfriend made himself the beneficiary on all her bank accounts without telling her

Tracey Folly

*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission.

I dated a man who was money hungry. My ex-boyfriend worked tirelessly to bilk me out of as much money as possible throughout our eight-year relationship. He considered himself "financially savvy," but it went way deeper than that. He was greedy and sneaky.

This man demanded access to all my bank accounts, including my credit cards and my PayPal account. Then he set about using them as if they were his own.

One day, he logged into my financial institutions and assigned himself as the beneficiary of all my assets. He did this without invitation; he did it without asking. He didn't even tell me about it.

I happened upon the change to my bank accounts quite by accident. When I saw his name staring back at me from my beneficiary designation, I felt shocked.

Obviously, I confronted him. He insisted that, of course, I should leave all my assets to him in the case of my untimely death. Why? He told me that he had done so much for me that I owed him.

I wish I could say that I immediately removed him as the beneficiary on my accounts. I wish I could say I immediately revoked his access to my accounts and changed all my passwords, but I didn't, not for several years at least.

Six months before our actual, official, permanent breakup, we broke up for two weeks. During that time, I changed all my passwords and revoked his access to my accounts, but I still didn't remove him as my beneficiary because I felt intimidated by him.

However, once we broke up the second and final time, removing him as the beneficiary from my accounts was the first thing I did. It felt so good. It was empowering, and it was an important step in taking control of my life and finances.

To this day, I'm sure he was hoping I'd pass away, and he'd finally be able to collect my assets. Although my mother thinks he was planning on speeding up the process, I'm not so sure. Even so, it's best not to take any chances.

If you're in a relationship with someone who is money hungry, be very careful. They may seem like they have your best interests at heart, but they're really only looking out for themselves. When it comes to your finances, it's best to err on the side of caution and keep them as far away from your accounts as possible.

They may try to control your finances and even steal from you, which is exactly what happened to me. Protect yourself by keeping close tabs on your accounts and changing your passwords often. And if you have any doubts about your partner's intent, remove them as your beneficiary immediately.

I'm thankful that I finally ended the relationship before he collected on his beneficiary status. He was the last person I'd want to benefit from my passing.

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Writing about relationships online since 2009.

Massachusetts State

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