My married coworker tried to guilt me into an affair

Tracey Folly

*This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events I experienced firsthand; used with permission.

Our coworkers encouraged me to date him despite being married because he was "a nice guy."

I was nineteen years old when my older coworker asked me out on a date. There were just a couple of problems with his offer. He was already married, and I was married, too.

Our marital statuses didn't seem to bother him. Everyone in the office knew he wasn't happy with his wife, and I wasn't happy with my husband, either. Being unhappily married did not mean we were born to be together.

I had no interest in him.

He expected me to feel sorry for him because he was unhappily married, but the only person I felt sorry for was myself.

I was miserable at home, and I was miserable at work, and now I had to dodge my married coworker's fumbling advances daily while our mutual coworkers cheered him on. Our coworkers firmly supported the idea of us dating, despite me telling them repeatedly that they were making me uncomfortable.

To make matters worse, this man and his wife had a newborn baby at home.

My coworkers still encouraged me to go out with him, even though I made it clear I was not interested.

I dated my husband for two years before we got married, but it took me a single day after we were married to realize he wasn't who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I was unhappy with my husband, but I was not tempted to give in to the advances of my coworker just because I felt trapped at home.

Our coworkers tried convincing me it would be okay if we started seeing each other, but they failed to realize how awful they made me feel every day when they encouraged us both to see each other behind closed doors.

I was uncomfortable with the way our coworkers talked about us behind our backs and how they were trying to force me to date him.

My coworker tried to make me feel guilty by telling me how unhappy his wife made him. He even complained about his newborn son for disturbing his sleep and causing him to become exhausted and irritable. He tried to convince me that I could save him from his bad marriage.

It didn't take long for him to act like a jerk around me because I turned down his advances every time he asked me out on a date. That's when things got awkward between us. Any chance we had at a healthy working relationship disappeared.

Our coworkers did not stop encouraging us to go out together, even months after their encouragement failed to convince me that we should give dating a chance.

Eventually, my unhappily married coworker moved out of town and quit his job. Not seeing him in the office every day was a relief, but I never forgave our coworkers for encouraging him.

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Writing about relationships online since 2009.

Massachusetts State

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