My husband went to Florida without me

Tracey Folly

I spent the next week falling in love with another man.

My husband went on vacation without me, and I spent the next week falling in love with another man.

When my husband went on vacation without me, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Of course, in this case, the camel was our marriage, and it was already bowed and limping, anyway.

Our marriage was doomed from the start, but I made a good-faith effort for nearly five years. Maybe he did, too. After all, he never left me, and I suppose I should give him credit for that.

I knew he was unhappy; I was unhappy too. It nearly broke my heart the time he told me, “I love you, but we got married too young.” It seemed like he was having a crisis. I didn’t blame him, but that was years before his last vacation as a married man, a vacation he took without his wife.

Here’s what happened in a nutshell. My husband came home from visiting his mother one day and announced that she was taking him on an all-expenses-paid vacation to Florida, and he did not want me to join them.

I didn’t want to join them either. So there shouldn’t have been a problem, but there was.

You see, despite having a zero percent desire to join them on vacation, I wanted to be invited. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to travel. The problem was that I’d never been on an airplane, and I had a fear of flying. There was no chance at all that I’d change my mind — but I wanted him to change his mind.

In retrospect, it doesn’t seem fair.

I asked him to invite me. I begged him. I pleaded. I assured him that there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in Florida that I’d accept. Yet, he still refused to invite me.

We were each locked onto our own misguided principles, and neither of us was willing to sway.

Is it always wrong to cheat on your partner?

Yes? No? Maybe? I haven’t figured out the answer yet. So maybe someone can enlighten me.

My husband and I had a terrible marriage. I often lay crying on the floor of our bedroom.

He was also a cheater who flaunted his affairs and didn’t care how his actions affected me.

Does that absolve me of my own sins? As I said, please enlighten me.

Yes, my husband went on vacation without me, and I spent the next week falling in love with another man.

He was a former coworker, and I’d had a crush on him when we worked together. After he was fired for sleeping on the job and other offenses, I mostly forgot about him, thinking I’d never see him again.

Then, a few days into my husband’s solo vacation and subsequent absence, I ran into my coworker. To be specific, I spotted him across the street from my parents’ home where I was staying for the week with my dog.

No, he wasn’t stalking me. It was just a coincidence. My parents lived across the street from a lake, which was a popular fishing spot in town.

I looked out their kitchen window, spotted my former coworker’s car, and set off across the street in search of him. It didn’t take long to find him sitting there gazing at the water, eating a Snickers bar, and drinking a can of Coke.

To make a long story short, we spent a lot of time together over the next week. I was smitten, and he was an almost perfect gentleman, which was probably because he was far less interested in me than I was in him.

Nonetheless, after my divorce, he became my boyfriend.

We stayed together for far longer than we should have… before saying goodbye forever after twelve-and-a-half long years that weren’t all bad. He was my best friend, and in the end, I had to say goodbye to my best friend. Clearly, that was the worst part and what I regret most about the decisions that led me there.

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Boston, MA

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