Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash
My partner and I decided to take a break.
When I told my friends and family I was either met with shock that we were breaking up, or when I explained it was only “temporary” I was met with a knowing nod that said they didn’t believe me.
In todays culture of total stimulation 24/7 it’s easier than ever to feel overwhelmed and feel like you’re losing yourself.
Add into the mix the immense stress of the current pandemic and it is little wonder most couples feel burnt out.
Now that most of your conversations seem to end in arguments instead of understanding. And time usually spent energised and looking forward to each other has turned into slight dread for the potential of escalation.
You have a choice to make; either let the pressures get the better of you and destroy your relationship or take some time for yourselves to rebuild the parts that attracted you in the first place.
Most people think of “taking a break” as a cowards way of ending the relationship without having to say it to their partners face, and for some people that may be true.
With these five points below, I argue that taking a break may be one of the best things that you can do for you and your relationship.
Rebuilding your social life
In the early days of your relationship you couldn’t get enough of being with one another.
Spending more and more time with each other and spending less and less time with your friends and family.
Over time what was once novel and exciting becomes a habit, and your once vibrant social life morphs into nights in binging Netflix with what is definitely questionable food.
Taking a break from your partner allows you to reassess how you are spending your free-time and gives you a chance to rekindle friendships/relationships. Allowing you a chance to balance who you are as an individual as well as a couple.
As amazing and it to stay in and chill with your significant other, outside is where the real world is and all the unique opportunities it presents.
Get out there.
You can relearn what boundaries are.
Boundaries are one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship.
One of the main reasons why a relationship can start falling apart is if one, or both people stop respecting the others boundaries.
Taking a break gives you a chance to rediscover what your boundaries actually are and gives you a chance to start respecting them yourself.
Because let's face it, how can you expect your partner to respect your boundaries and you if you can’t honour them yourself?
Time to rediscover yourself.
The longer a relationship continues, the harder and harder it gets to distinguish the individual from the couple.
Taking a break gives you a chance to discover, or rediscover hobbies seperate from your partner.
Not only does this give you something to retain your individuality when you return to the relationship.
Your new individuality and confidence boost may just make you more attractive to your partner when you return.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
Do you remember what it is like to actually miss your partner?
The saying is more than a silly old wives tale.
Taking time apart for yourself can really allow you to reassess your partner from a distance and remember all the things you found attractive in the first place.
When you’re finally back together it can give you a whole new appreciation of them and help keep the fires stoked when life inevitably gets difficult again.
Do you really want the relationship to continue?
As difficult as it is to admit, sometimes relationships just drag on purely out of habit.
A life without your partner and the routines you’ve built together is just too difficult to imagine.
Taking a break can give you time to understand what life will be like without them and help you assess whether you are staying in this relationship because you think it can work, or on the flip side, sadly, because staying with them is the easier option.
Time alone won’t fix the problems in your relationship, but it can give you and your partner time to figure out strategies to work on.
So when you are finally ready to return to each other you’re motivated and optimistic about the future.
What now?
If after your time apart, you or your partner decide that the relationship isn’t worth saving.
You have still made an amazing and important step in your life, because one of the biggest tragedies is forcing you to stay in relationship you’ve outgrown and makes you unhappy.
Thank your partner for the amazing times you have had and great lessons they taught you and use your newly discover autonomy to finally branch out on your own.
Because as they say, “there are plenty of fish in the sea” if you are only brave enough to fish.
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