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7 Life-Saving Tips For Your Miami Spring Break

Toni Koraza

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Spring breaks are a hedonistic rite of passage.

Just like Vegas, what happens on Spring break stays on Spring Break and Instagram, TikTok, and other social media.

Florida’s Spring Break parties are the wildest and crazies, even during the pandemic. Your friends and even parents have a fair share of best nights they can’t even remember because of Spring Break fun. So, if you feel like it’s unfair that you can’t party like a rockstar this year, you’re absolutely right to feel that way.

The pandemic is unfair.

Miami officials have imposed curfew measures from 8 pm to 6 am. The police patrols the streets for any vehicles or pedestrians after hours and the situation can get really ugly, really fast.

“These crowds are in the thousands,” city manager Raul Aguila told Miami Herald. “We’re at capacity.”

But you’re smart, and you can still have loads of fun. Here’s how.

1. Plan ahead: Organize indoor group parties

Rent a villa close to the city with ten of your friends and acquaintances. Get neighbor’s approval, buy the booze in quantity and plan ahead for a wild party. Enjoy your time in the sun during the day when it’s legal, and party like a rockstar at night in a rented villa. The safety of the four walls will keep the police away.

2. Don’t break the law while breaking the law

If you’re already outside past curfew, don’t drink and do drugs at that.

Don’t break the law while breaking the law. The more gusto you give to the officer, the more incentive they have to make an actual arrest. If you haven’t committed a major crime, you can always claim confusion. Police probably have more sinister things on their plate already and may send you off with a verbal warning. But if you’re downing a keg at 3 am in the middle of a public road while shouting A.C.A.B., you’re probably in for more than just a rough night at the precinct.

3. Don’t taunt the officers

If you come eye to eye with an officer, comply to the fullest. Don’t try to be a smart-ass, and don’t provoke their egos. Officers exercise power. The job is to keep civil unrest under control.

We can argue night and day about police behavior's injustice and morality, but that can only ruin your spring break. Rubbing shoulders with 11 criminals in The Miami Police Department (MPD) box cell is not exactly fun. So, shower the officers with respect, even if you believe they don’t deserve it. The sooner your interaction with the police is resolved, the sooner you can move your party to a new location.

Think fun, not ego.

4. Don’t buy street drugs or pay for prostitution

If a middle-aged guy with a partner is offering you cocaine or weed, you may already be in trouble even if you never asked for any illegal substance. Miami Police are notorious for coercing partygoers into criminal activity. If someone offers a drunk college student some weed, well, the chance of that student sealing his faith with a felony charge becomes high. Don’t lose control. Enjoy your alcohol, and have fun in all the student ways.

5. Visit Mexico this year

Seriously. Skip high-intensity places and have fun in a place where COVID restrictions are not as daunting as in the United States. I assume you’re still following common sense regarding COVID measures and skipping massive sweaty parties. Mexico is wonderful this time of year and cheaper than Florida. Visit Tulum, Cancun, or even Mexico City for a wild spring break.

6. Don’t break stuff in public

Don’t break into people's properties. Don’t fight with trashcans. And don’t risk your life trying to impress people you don’t even care about. Miami is rolled over and bulldozed with cameras and trigger-happy neighbors. Nobody needs a retroactive felony charge, or a bullet wound from a wild spring break.

7. Keep an eye on your belongings at all times

My stuff has gone missing more than once, embarrassingly. Beggin airport security and police to let you board the flight without documents is no small feat. You can probably find a way to return home, but it won’t be fun.

Photo by Kats Weil on Unsplash

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