Our Marriage Was Over After My Wife Was Spotted Getting a Pizza Delivery

Tim Ebl

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That fateful night, Joan called the local pizza joint to order supper, and it changed the course of my life. I didn’t have a suspicious bone in my body, but that all ended after my neighbor let me know what he witnessed happening on my balcony.

One pizza delivery started a chain reaction that brought my marriage down. But it wasn’t the pizza guy’s fault. He had nothing to do with all of the malarkey going on in my house. He was just the last in a long string of goings-on.

I will call my ex-wife Joan in this story. That isn’t her real name.

Marital Bliss? No

My wife and I were already on shaky ground. I can take my share of the blame for that. It takes two to fight.

We were both young and immature and emotional. The verbal fights were epic. Every few weeks there was an emotional knock-down hair-pulling main event. I always ended up losing and getting tossed out of the ring while the crowd booed and the neighbors banged on the apartment walls.

I understood that she was having a hard time. I was doing my best to let her recover from giving birth and come back to me when she was ready. I knew that we had lots of time. The rest of our lives.

Our son was 3 months old and took a lot of care. Neither of us was getting any rest. Having a baby was a tough situation that any new parent goes through.

I was in for the long haul, though. I was optimistic and willing to do whatever it took.

And then the guy next door stopped me on my front step and clued me in on what was happening while I was at work.

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Image by Thomas Grau from Pixabay

Pizza Guy

The neighbor had a balcony right next to ours. He stepped outside around 8:00 PM and could tell that Joan was getting a visit. Someone was with her, and he didn’t think it was me.

He knew I was working nightshift.

We were just acquaintances, but the guy next door was a bit nosy. He had to find out who it was.

The neighbor confirmed the identity of the mystery dude when he left my apartment and jumped in his delivery car. It was the pizza guy.

When I came home from work the next morning, my nosy neighbor was bursting with the need to drop the bomb. He didn’t leave out any details. I was stunned. I didn't know what to do.

I couldn’t go into my own house and face Joan. I left to drive around and think about it. The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach told me our relationship was over.

Eyes Opened, Soul Crushed

I just wasn’t worldly. I was a dumb country kid who had no idea that this could ever happen to me. It blew my mind that my wife would get up to no good.

It was unthinkable.

But when it became thinkable, I started to put all the pieces together. That’s when that feeling in the pit of my stomach got worse.

After the blinders were off, all the evidence was in front of me. I couldn’t believe how easily Joan pulled the wool over my eyes.

“Once a *******, always a repeater.” — Melissa Edwards

There was that bouncer at the bar she was a little too friendly with, who gave me a knowing smirk when I walked by. There were parties that she had gone to on “girl’s night” that turned into over-nighters on the other end of town.

The hour-long phone call from her ex-boyfriend not too long ago.

Then there was that time her friend’s boyfriend was leaving my apartment in a rush when I got home unexpectedly. Joan was told he had stopped by to drop off some dishes, but I never saw any new kitchen items. It was so cliche, but that didn’t mean nothing was happening.

There were a lot of other clues scatter through our lives. Joan had been busy.

I couldn’t trust anything she said or did. I started second-guessing everything that had happened since I met her.

I felt stupid and ashamed. I wanted to die.

Our Marriage Was a Joke and the Punchline Was a Real Groaner

Joan fooled everyone in my family. She was good at twisting the truth. If she would have gotten into a secret spy organization she would have moved right to the top.

I called a buddy and told him what happened. There was just silence on the other end. Then he confessed that he had known something was up but thought he was just imagining it.

When I confronted him about it that morning, he said was sorry he never told me. But he just wasn’t sure.

“Sometimes, the one you’d take a bullet for turns out to be the one behind the gun.” — unknown

I didn’t know what to do. So I went home and we had a big fight. Joan confessed to everything. She threw it in my face.

She accused me of being a macho, manipulative abuser. It was all my fault. She had to do the things she did to feel alive. I was suffocating her.

Joan didn’t take responsibility for any of it. I was the bad guy who forced her into being traitorous. If only I knew what it was like to have to live with a loser like me.

So I packed my clothes and left.

When You Don’t Use Birth Control

I don’t know if it was just a one-time meeting or if he was our regular pizza guy over multiple deliveries. I always wondered how many times he got tipped when he was packing pizzas.

The pizza guy got more than he bargained for. About 9 months later, his pizza delivery resulted in another delivery down at the hospital. This one was just under 7 pounds.

Once Joan and I broke up, she really cut loose. It was party time.

She had 4 children in 4 years. My son was the first.

She Broke My Heart But I Still Had My Son

Joan was my wake-up call. Before her, I was a trusting guy with low self-esteem. I was willing to put up with some terrible behavior to keep the peace.

After Joan was done with me, I got my life together again and things got better. I vowed to never let anyone treat me like that again.

I kept up visits with my son no matter what. I took him for weekends. I had him at my house every evening my ex would let me take him. I did the hard things I needed to to be there for him, no matter how inconvenient.

I even tried to be civil to his mom. That was the hardest thing. But if I didn’t keep her happy, she kept him away from me. Joan could be cruel when she wanted to. And now that we weren’t together, she wanted to be mean most of the time.

I toughed it out and started going for custody.

I Met The Love of My Life

Sometimes you have to go through the worst things to get to the best things. At least, that’s how my life has been. Big disaster, followed by even bigger wins.

Over a year later, I met the love of my life. We were inseparable within weeks. Sometimes you just know.

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” — Paul Millsap

I was upfront about my history and told her that my son had to come first my relationships second. She understood.

She was there through the custody battle, and we ended up getting married. That was 25 years ago. We’re still together. And she has never given me a reason to doubt her.

The End Of The Line

At the time I could have forgiven Joan for ordering out from the pizza guy.

I couldn’t forgive her for the lying that took place over months, for our entire relationship. Finding out about one delivery dude was only the tip of the iceberg.

At the time, it felt like my world was ending.

My marriage was over after only a year and a half. My son was just months old and I wasn’t living with him anymore. I lost all of my possessions except the clothes on my back and what I could cram into a few plastic garbage bags.

But this disaster was a formative period of time. I learned to stand up for myself. I learned to look for relationships that were loving, supportive, and trustworthy. I learned to be fussy with what situations I put myself in.

I also got my son from this failed marriage. I wouldn’t give him back for anything.

I’m grateful my ex-wife forced the issue. It was the end of a painful match. And it led to all the good things I have now.

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I'm an author, yoga enthusiast, and meditation instructor. I spend a lot of time outdoors with activities like running, hiking and camping. My writing is all about the humorous side of life and personal growth, habits ,mindfulness, and outdoor adventures.

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