Wife finds out 10 years into the marriage that her husband has multiple 'secret' social media accounts and he laughed

The World Around Jae and Beyond

Disclosure: This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events provided via all sources cited and permission given;

Marriage is about commitment, and some couples will created certain boundaries to make their relationship work. Regardless of what boundaries have been created, both spouses have to continue to abide by them or at least communicate with the other spouse when changes may need to be made for the marriage to continue going. There is a lady who reached out because her husband didn't honor something that was established 10 years ago into the marriage. On top of that, his response didn't make her feel any better.

Couple argumentPhoto byEric WardonUnsplash

Making it Work Offline

The woman posted a question stated that at the beginning of her marriage, her husband suggested that they get off of all social media sites. She did agree to this, and said she continued to go by this boundary that was set. If anyone ever asked him if he was on any social media sites, she said the he would simply tell them no. Now 10 years later, she found out that he has social media accounts on multiple platforms. When she asked him about them, he replied by saying,

that 'boundary' was made 10 years ago

He then proceeded to laugh at her as if he did nothing wrong. Him laughing in her face really disappointed her along with him not communicating his feelings about getting online again; therefore, she reached out to get help about this situation because emotionally it has affected her.

Online Cheating Statistics

Having an online affair is considered as a form of cheating, and a way for those who are committing it to get away from reality. This form of cheating can be done through social media, email, chat, or through text. Cheating can cause damage to any relationship along with the cheated on spouse feeling jealous or insecure. According to the LA Intelligence, 22% of men and 14% women have strayed at least once while being married. 56% of men said they were happy with their marriage while cheating with 34% of women saying the same thing.

Signs of Online Cheating

  • Your spouse becomes defensive and blaming you for things
  • Your spouse's behavior changes such as ignoring things at home or work
  • Your spouse suddenly demands more privacy
  • Your spouse will close or shut off any electronic device when you are approaching
  • Your spouse changes the passwords to any social media or email account you previously had access to

Responses from Others

One person responded by saying,

You can agree that the boundary was established 10 years ago - and then ask him why and when he unilaterally decided to abandon it. If he feels that this agreement you had about social media accounts naturally becomes weaker as time moves on, then I wonder how he feels about your marriage vows? Does he have the same cavalier attitude to other aspects of your relationship?

Another person responded by telling the woman that it really seems as if her husband only set this boundary to get her off of social media, and that the boundary never applied to him.

Yuck and not acceptable. I know that’s your husband but I would guess he’s jerky in other ways?

Meeting with a counselor about this by herself or with her husband was another suggestion. She has not responded with an update yet.

What do you think about this problem she is having with her marriage? Would you have requested for your spouse to get off of social media or if asked, would you have gotten off? Do you even care about social media sites?

Please share below.

Your thought counts!


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Writing articles about relationships, family issues, culture, lifestyle, and other topics people deal with on a daily basis in today's society while presenting current events related to the state of Alabama.

Birmingham, AL

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