Miner but effective steps.
We all are children in adult bodies. We learn Algebra and English, but few of us know how to communicate, express our emotions, process them ( most of us even know emotions need to be processed or stay trapped in the body.)
Many of us aren’t aware that we avoid certain emotions altogether or fear them.
At the same time, we so desperately want to connect emotionally with others vulnerably. It’s one of our core needs. If you observe adults in conflict, it often looks like the same behavior we see with children: screaming, name-calling, sulking, stumping, are completely ignoring the situation altogether.
We need to practice because we aren’t modeled emotional maturity or awareness. This involves doing the inner work to understand our own emotions. To learn how they move through the body. To feel how we respond (are react) based on what emotion we are feeling.
It’s important to remember this is not about judging yourself, comparing or, expecting perfection. It’s about learning to witness your emotions, to experience them rather than becoming them.
1# Multiple realities
The awareness that (reality) is a perspective filtered through a person’s past lived experience and someone else's. Reality does not invalidate your own. More than one reality can exist at the same time.
The practice of restoring your nervous system through rest, creativity, body movement. At the same time, experiencing intense emotions like fear, grief, shame, stress, or other difficult emotions.
The ability to understand a perspective outside of your own through being curious about another person’s lived experience. Empathy is often confused with enabling, fixing, codependent behavior. Empathy doesn't mean self-betrayal or denying your own reality.
4# Active Listening
The ability the openly listen to what a person is saying without interrupting, dismissing, or becoming emotionally reactive.
5# Honord Disagreement
The ability to disagree with grace, humility while still viewing the other person’s full humanity.No name-calling, shaming, or trauma projecting.
These skills are miners, but they can change your emotional life. To practice them, you need a conscious effort to know yourself. Changing starts with realizing yourself. Daily journaling of your emotions and reactions can help you a lot.