An Open Letter to the Narcissist That Tried to Ruin My Life

That Psych Nerd

Hey there, it’s me, your little chess piece you tried to destroy.

Hey there, it’s me, your little chess piece you tried to destroy.

Well look at me, I am alive and well! I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on our relationship.

There have been such ups and downs throughout the years. Love, hate, anger, deceit, and fear.

But not everything was bad.

There were times when you were in my life, and things seemed to be okay. I thought that maybe this was going to be it, no more games. We were finally going to have a normal relationship and be a family. After all, you’ve known me since the day I was born.

You were the person I was told to look up to. I valued your approval and sought your praise. You took me under your wing and helped guide me — until I noticed your guidance was a bit off course.

It was so hard to see past all your bullshit.

All of the bouts of normalcy never lasted long. Things never seemed to change with you, the torment never stopped. I can’t remember a time when things were ever good with you.

I broke away from the manipulation and saw you for what you truly are. You are a pathetic, greedy, soulless creature who craves power.

I know you have always hated me. I was, and forever will be, your worst enemy.

I exposed your lies and challenged your superiority.

You never cared about anybody unless they could give you what you wanted. What you desired was compliance without question. To have your family and friends fall to your feet, and praise you for all that you think you are worth; you loved it.

For a long time, no one questioned you. No said a word when I caught you in lies. When I questioned your behavior, I was met with fury — by you and the people you had control over.

At a point, such tension arose years back that it threw me for a loop. Where had all your sudden anger come from? What was the inciting incident to start this train wreck?

You had every single person in the palm of your hands. You didn’t even care about the outcome — you wanted more power. But nothing was ever enough for you. Nothing will ever be enough for you.

Through your manipulative actions and threatening demeanor, you reigned terror over those who cared for you.

But you could never control me. You have never been able to have me fall in line with your agenda.

You spun your narrative into making me a villain. The person you tried to portray me as was a reflection of who you are at heart.

You have tried to threaten by disguising it as care. You never fucking cared about me.

I have known you for my entire life, but I will never know who you truly are.

You are so absorbed in your own world that you failed to ever see the beauty surrounding you.

The love you received from those close to you were used as bargaining tools to hold your reign.

There is nothing that will ever stand in your way of reaching your ultimate delusion.

When the dust finally is settled, I still find myself looking to you in hopes that you can come back. I never wanted things to be like this. I mourn the person that I wished you could have been.

The person I miss is someone who never existed.

Through the haze of your destruction, I have found my true strength.

I am strong and capable of handling anything in my life.

All of the torture, lies, and manipulation you put me through have pushed me into truly finding my happiness.

You brought me no happiness, only pain.

Now that you are out of my life, I can finally breathe.

The weight of your words is nothing to me now.

Each day I now see as a glimmer of hope instead of a dark fog. The thoughts that kept me up at night no longer exist. My heart is quiet knowing the end has come.

I am free.

I am safe.

I am happy.

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As Originally Posted on Medium

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MS in Psychology | Mom of three cats and some house plants | #MentalHealthAdvocate #BeKind

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