Take Responsibility to Empower Yourself to Build a Fabulous Life

Terri Kozlowski

You are the one responsible for building the life of your dreams. Empower yourself to build upon the foundation of your authentic self.~ Terri Kozlowski

Everyone has dreams, goals, and aspirations they desire to realize. The tough part is linking what you long for and the actions you need to take to get it. You need to create a step-by-step plan to connect them. By embracing the change you need to undertake, you can build the life you dream of living.

All structures have a foundation on which to build. So the first thing you need to determine is the basis of your dreams. Another way to state this is, what is your purpose? You need to look within your soulful self to find those things that light you up and give you a clear vision.

This aim for your life comes from knowing who you authentically are. Not what others said you were good at doing, or you feel you should do, but your inner passion, what inspires you to put in the effort each day towards building the life you desire.

Once you’ve done the self-reflection and discovered what you love to do, then building upon this foundation becomes much easier. Why? Because you there’s not a struggle each day with forcing yourself to do the work or being disappointed because you did nothing since you didn’t feel like it.

After you know you set the foundation, you take responsibility by empowering yourself to build upon the base by utilizing the following six steps.

Realize building a cobblestone path to your destination requires laying down one stone at a time. ~ Jeffrey G. Duarte

Step 1: Write Out Your Goals

The brain, according to experts in the science of achievement, is a goal-seeking entity. Whatever aim you set for your unconscious mind, you will strive tirelessly to attain it. A goal must be measurable to engage your subconscious, so you must write it down.

You need long-term goals from your soul and then break them down into short-term objectives to build upon. As needed, revisit what you’ve written. You may alter your dreams. Therefore, you’ll need to reevaluate if some objectives still align with the deliberate action steps you are planning to take with what you currently desire.

Remember to stay focused. Did you know your brain is wired for distraction? It’s part of the survival mechanism. The best way to deal with distractions is to set yourself up for success by creating an idyllic atmosphere for you to focus on the task at hand. When you have an intention, it helps you stay focused. Prioritizing what you want to accomplish allows your mind not to be exhausted just by looking at your to-do list.

Looking at where you want to go and where you are now, you can divide the road from "here" to "there" into smaller, more doable steps. This helps you see progress, inspires you, and allows you to pivot as needed so you can build a fabulous life.

Create with the heart, build with the mind. ~ Criss Jami

Step 2: Have Faith In Yourself To Build Your Dream

Previously, scientists thought humans reacted to information streaming into the brain from the outside world. However, they now find that you respond to what the brain anticipates would happen based on previous experiences. The mind is such a powerful tool that it can attract anything you desire. But you must believe what you desire is possible.

Therefore, you must commit to believing in yourself. You need to know your strengths and weaknesses. Having unwavering faith in yourself to achieve your dreams is a vital component. This means building up your confidence, having faith in your abilities to overcome obstacles, and being kind with your self-talk.

You are responsible for your self-talk. Are you complaining about yourself? Have you learned to remind yourself of the times you’ve altered the circumstances so they were beneficial for you? If you need to, give yourself a pep talk and get back to taking bold action to build your dream.

The whole difference between construction and creation is exactly this: a thing constructed can only be loved after it is constructed, but a thing created is loved before it exists. ~ Charles Dickens

Step 3: Have The Courage to Commit To Change

To build your best life, you have to be courageous. The commitment to learning and embodying excellence means taking risks to transform your life. You must do things most people don’t consider doing.

Having goals and believing in yourself doesn't mean you’re committed to changing your habits and routine to get where you want to go. This step is about altering your mindset and shifting your perspective.

It’s about letting go of those things holding you back from building your best life: the unhealthy lifestyle or the personal boundaries you allow others to bypass. This messy middle is where you have your self-care practices in place to help you build your resiliency muscles as you navigate how to move through the changes you’re implementing.

These changes you’re building into your life feel uncomfortable, but you will see their benefits. As you try new things, learn, and push past your egoic fear, you realize the different outcomes you’re getting are better than staying in your comfort zone surviving instead of thriving.

Achieving is uncomfortable. You can't want success and sit back in fear, hoping it will find you. Miracles happen when you step into the discomfort, constructively talk yourself through the fears and doubts, and commit to taking bold action until you build your dream. The law of attraction will fail if you’re unwilling to be uncomfortable. Action is the movement of energy. You cannot serve as beacons of light and attract the things you desire unless you take action.

Part of building… means building a spirit of tolerance, love, and respect. ~ Nelson Mandela

Step 4: Build A Support System

Any amount of change can be quite difficult. It’s best to have a support system in place as you build your new life. Aside from friends, family members, and loved ones, it’s beneficial to seek advice from an objective outsider who can assist you in reflecting on yourself. Someone to confide in, someone to offer unbiased advice, someone to encourage your progress and challenge you.

Your trusted tribe are those people who help you when you get off track as they gently remind you of your goals. They are also those people whom you can learn from because they are moving towards building their lives.

You might look at successful people and wonder if they have superhuman abilities. However, many of the world's most successful people follow good habits and routines that have a significant impact on their ability to achieve their goals.

Learn the habits of successful people for actionable strategies to live a successful life, whether it's sensible financial management, regular exercise, understanding how to recognize your strengths, keeping centered when nothing goes right or knowing how to get back on track. A mentor or personal coach, like myself, can help you establish specific tactics to boost your chances of reaching your goals and building the life of your dreams.

You can design and create and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it takes people to make the dream a reality. ~ Walt Disney

Step 5: Authenticity Builds Dreams

Being kind yet assertive will get you further in life and bring you more opportunities and satisfaction. Being kind doesn’t imply being a pushover; it implies being your loving, authentic self.

Authentic people share two traits: sharing and caring. Others do not threaten you when you respect who you are. You’re not insecure because you’re competing with everyone, feeling the need to posture. Instead, you’re open to new experiences and exploring how you may contribute. Living with a kind, helpful, appreciative, and humble heart is a genuine measure of success.

Nobody is going to permit you to succeed. Your authentic ambitions for achievement can make others feel "less-than." Others may try to instill doubt into your ability to build your life as you wish. The bottom line, you must listen to your heart and permit yourself to build the life you desire.

Someone may no longer have a relationship with your authentic dream-building self. This person leaving your life lightens your load. When these losses are unpleasant, you must ask yourself, "What exactly am I losing?" Someone who doesn’t want you to achieve the goals you set. Perhaps this is a win rather than a loss.

Learn to communicate effectively. Being able to communicate effectively is a skill everyone needs to have. Authentic communication is more than the exchange of information. It’s the ability to understand the emotions and intentions behind the data being conveyed. It’s a two-way transmission between the messenger and the receiver.

If you build it well, satisfaction comes with honor to say I built that with fidelity, purpose, value, and integrity. ~ Richard L. Ratliff

Step 6: Keep Learning

Study the experiences of others to avoid making the same mistakes. Take advantage of every opportunity to learn. Learning new information has a magical quality to it.

The greater the knowledge base you build for yourself, the more resilient you will be when life throws you into unexpected circumstances. Never turn down the chance to learn more about your interests or business. You never know when recalling facts from the past will come in handy today. Be a lifelong learner of personal success.

Few things improve unless you review the techniques and methods employed. Make it a habit to go over all actions and lessons learned. Based on these findings, make changes. This puts you ahead of those who never ponder on anything in their lives.

Reflect on your day, week, and month. Did you start with a clear goal in mind? Were your behaviors consistent with the direction you desire to take your life? Was your time management effective? When you evaluate what you’ve done, you learn and discover ways that help you build the life you want.

When we build, let us think we build forever. ~ John Ruskin

Moving Forward Building The Dream

One of the most pervasive myths in the United States today is the belief in entitlement. That someone other than you is responsible for your happiness, your financial stability, a nurturing family, and blissful relationships simply because you exist. But the truth is only one person is responsible for the quality of life you build and that person is you.

Everything about you is the outcome of what you do or don’t do. The person you see in the mirror is the conductor of your life. The egoic mind deceives many people into believing that failure, disappointment, and dissatisfaction result from external forces. However, outside influences do not dictate how you live. You have total power over the quality of your life.

People who build the life of their dreams accept complete responsibility for their thoughts and actions. They don't waste time or energy blaming and or making excuses. But they examine their experiences and determine whether to change them. And they will face the unpleasant and take chances to build the life they desire.

Each of us is carving a stone, erecting a column, or cutting a piece of stained glass in the construction of something much bigger than ourselves. ~ Adrienne Clarkson

As you become more conscious of empowering yourself to build the life of your dreams, you can alter the course of your life.

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Native American Terri Kozlowski has a BS in social science, certified life coach, blogger, author of "Raven Transcending Fear," & host of the Soul Solutions podcast. She specializes in empowering people to overcome their fears and limiting beliefs.

Woodstock, GA

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