Loving Yourself is the Simplistic Foundation You Need to Be Authentic

Terri Kozlowski

The foundation you need to be determined every day to be your authentic self is based on your ability to love and accept yourself as you areTerri Kozlowski

Last month, I focused on writing articles that helped you learn to love yourself. I wrote about your worthiness, that you are more than enough just as you are, you are whole, not broken, and you belong. This deep dive into self-love and fully accepting your authentic being was building the foundation needed for you to be determined every day to be your authentic self, no matter who you are with or what situation you may find yourself.

In discovering who you are, what you are passionate about, and examining your beliefs, you learned how uniquely wonderful you are. And when you share your authenticity with others, you made deep and loving connections.

And when you unearth your authentic being, you can determine in which ways you want to learn and grow. This self-creation is about taking responsibility for the choices you make instead of making excuses or blaming others.

When you’re being authentic, you commit to making your life your own. You’re focusing, fully engaging, and consciously deciding based on what is in your best interest. And you’re no longer concerned about what others think about how you move forward with your vision, you no longer compare, and you certainly aren’t conforming to what your ego thinks others want from you.

This doesn’t signify you are unkind or not compassionate to people in your life. It means you are courageously putting up personal boundaries because you are being honest with yourself and others at all times is foundational.

The greatest act of courage is to be and to own all of who you are — without apology, without excuses, without masks to cover the truth of who you are. ~ Debbie Ford

Always Being Wholly Yourself

Who you are doesn’t change based on where you are or the roles you portray. Don’t forget the roles you take on aren’t who you are. For example, I am a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, published author, blogger, podcast host, YouTuber, business owner, volunteer, book club member, and many more. These roles may give me responsibilities and I may enjoy them, but my authenticity isn’t the foundation of these roles.

What am I trying to imply? How you behave in these different roles should still be based on your authentic being. Your personality shouldn’t be different at work, at home, or with friends. Who you are should be seen by all the people you connect with, no matter the situation. Now I understand that your work role may need to be more professional than time with friends and family, but your authenticity should shine all the time. The truth is, you are the same person where ever you go.

The ego uses fear to hold you back from being honest, and honesty is foundational in being authentic. Why? Because the egoic mind is concerned truthfulness will be penalized or rejected because it thinks conformity is the societal norm. It doesn’t want you to cause an argument or upset someone. But this is an illusion. A lie, a projection of the ego to have you hide your authenticity behind masks and armor. Instead, consciously choose to be boldly your authentic self, no matter who you’re with or where you are.

Authenticity is evident when you show your true self and the reality behind how you feel. Society was built on a foundation of fear, not authenticity. ~ Jeff Brown

The Foundation Of Inner Conflict

The egoic mind governs your outer world. It weighs the pros and cons of how you should react to a situation. It’s quick to take fearful action to protect itself from looking bad to others. This striving concerns material things, how you present yourself to the world, others’ perspectives of you, and looking acceptable to society.

Your inner self is your heart and soul. It deals with emotions, intuition, values, beliefs, thoughts, and dreams. It’s your mindfulness and clarity of purpose. Because of your soulful self, you can have joy and serenity in your life because you know they rise from within you. And during stressful times, you remain calm, can pivot, and resiliency is your nature.

The conflict between the ego and the soul happens when you aren’t living your truth. If you believe one thing is right, yet you do another so your ego is protected, then inner turmoil occurs. This mismatch behavioral pattern is at the expense of your authenticity. The more this occurs, the more masks and armor you put on and you feel fragmented and broken.

This foundational battle results in stress, feeling empty, and looking for ways to stuff your pain through other substances. So examine your choices. Are you staying true to your values and beliefs, or are your actions not in alignment with your authentic self?

Once you see the conflict, get quiet. Go within and reconnect so you can listen to your intuition, your soul’s voice, the foundation of your authenticity.

We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be. ~ May Sarton

Benefits of Always Being Authentic

When you are consistently being yourself with everyone, you discover some astounding benefits. The first one I noticed was the discernment and perspective I had about situations was valuable to others if I was confident to share it. When you’re authentic, your viewpoint is unique and can help others gain the clarity they need, but only if you are courageous and speak up.

Another advantage of consistently allowing your authenticity to shine through is the initiative you have. You are no longer sitting on the sidelines, even in the offseason, because without taking action you cannot move towards your dreams.

An additional gain you receive from being your authentic self is the influence you have on those around you. People are drawn to your vision and values because your passion attracts others to you to take the right action, too. You can create a ripple effect on others in a positive way.

Furthermore, you have a foundational effect on those around you. You make a difference in other people’s lives. You help to create change that is impactful and long-lasting.

Finally, your integrity is a superb example for others. See, when you wear masks and armor to protect your ego or conform to society, it’s difficult to be compassionate towards others. Yet when your foundation is honesty with everyone about everything, people see your values in action.

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to let our true selves be seen. ~ Brene Brown

Foundational Steps To Authenticity

Here are five steps you can take each day to help you consciously choose to be authentic all the time.

1. Live your truth. Knowing who you authentically are is the basis of being able to live your truth. As you base your choices on your values over the conformity to societal norms, your ego will align with your soulful purpose. This alignment is the miracle of living a wondrous life. Where magic becomes typical and synchronicities occur to reinforce your trust in your intuition.

2. Adhere to your beliefs and values. Don’t compromise your integrity for any reason. It means unlearning the things you no longer believe as valid for you because you’ve outgrown them. Many are afraid to release the ingrained belief systems of your parents because of tradition. But that’s not being honest with yourself. It’s a mask of conformity. But as adults, take responsibility for your belief system and keep your integrity.

3. Keep your word. You know how you feel when someone doesn’t keep a promise to you. Words have power. And your assurance to someone is linked to your integrity. When you don’t follow through, others lose trust in you. This also holds when you don’t hold others accountable for respecting your personal boundaries.

4. Be present. Yes, awareness is foundational to consistently being authentic. Being distracted or unfocused means your ego is in control and cluttering your mind, and therefore, you aren’t fully present in the current moment. When this occurs, take a deep breath and pause so you can reconnect to hear the whispers of your soul.

5. Find your tribe. The people in your life who love and support your authentic being will help encourage you to be yourself. So consciously choose to spend time with your tribe. When you dedicate yourself to being with other authentic people, you will be inspired to continue your journey, too.

Everything will line up perfectly when knowing and living the truth becomes more important than looking good. ~ Alan Cohen

Moving Forward With The Foundation To Live Authentically

By consciously choosing to live authentically, you follow your heart. By doing so, you end up being in places, situations, and conversations with people you love and enjoy the time as being well spent. You are attracting like-minded people and you feel fulfilled.

Your self-love, knowing you’re worthy and more than enough, just as you are, is the foundation of your authenticity. You are inflow with the Universe and your creativity is effortless. Moreover, you’re adhering to your core values and gaining self-confidence. This belief in yourself gives you the boldness and self-assuredness to overcome any situation.

See, self-love means you love and accept who you are authentically, all your strengths and weaknesses. Only when you have this foundation in place can you effortlessly choose to be authentic every day because you understand the freedom you gain by just being you.

The strongest force in the universe is a human being living consistently with his identity. ~ Tony Robbins

As you become more mindful of the foundation of authenticity and become conscious about loving and accepting yourself as you are, you can alter the course of your life.

Do you need help to love and accept yourself as you are? Are you looking for support in learning how to choose to live authentically every day? Do you want a strategy to help you create an extraordinary life? If so, please get in touch with me, and we can put together an action plan for you to live authentically.

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Native American Terri Kozlowski has a BS in social science, certified life coach, blogger, author of "Raven Transcending Fear," & host of the Soul Solutions podcast. She specializes in empowering people to overcome their fears and limiting beliefs.

Woodstock, GA

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