When he says it's not quite right, do you struggle for a way to encourage him? Do you think he's confusing the commitment signal with the occasional inappropriate comment, or vague non-committal gesture? It can be difficult to navigate, to assist the increasingly calm and thoughtful man who is sadly, but inevitably, breaking up with you.
At some point, it becomes all too difficult to regularly reassure a man that you care. Ultimately it can be hardest for those women who haven't been completely ready to concede to the changes a pre- nuptial relationship is going through. With more chemistry than you can possibly imagine, it can be difficult to see the man for who he truly is. Reassure him of who he is and what he's achieved in life, his desires, and ideas. A man can sense an attempt to manipulate him, to change him to fit into your ideal, it's in everything from the initial dating stage right through to marriage.
I can understand if you are in that situation where your man seems like your focus is elsewhere, and he can't see the difference between his love for you and his love for himself. It doesn't take much to clear up these misunderstandings, and your relationship deserves a real chance.
So here are my top three tips:
Allow Him the Opportunity to Tell You
Your man is not going to give up his freedom without the motivation to protect it. When he feels strongly about something, his actions will speak loud and clear. More than anything, it will be how he feels about you. You can and should encourage him. Give him time to say things that he wants to say. Give him freedom to make decisions without pressure.
Acknowledge the Factual Differences
Men and women think differently. It doesn't mean there is not a soul connection. I personally believe that the connection on some level is essential. However, life under the influence of testosterone is a challenge no matter how we try to deny it. Testosterone is a powerful drug in developing brains that can create a very complex creature.
When you can learn to live with the different mindsets, you can help your guy while trying to promote harmony at the same time. I am not suggesting you try to trick him. I am just suggesting that there is no way to enjoy being with one another without some understanding of how his mind works. If you can get through basic differences, sometimes you can create harmony in more complex ways.
Understand What He Is Feeling
If he feels not so great about the relationship, be compassionate. If you have been too callous pretending not to see the trouble brewing, he may soon realize it was not so much your fault after all. If he feels personally attacked and wounded, be supportive. And if he's not quite ready to let go, give him time.
Too easily you can mistake "it's me" for "I am not the person I thought you wanted me to be; I have changed".
Time is on Your Side
I tend to believe most relationships fail because the couple is simply not spending enough time together. This is essential but, as I have mentioned earlier, there are other factors too. I am talking about really knowing each other. This is probably the reason a relationship fails. Most people want their partner to be with them all the time, not whenever you can squeeze them in.
Love one another, be patient and compassionate. All too often this is what we are lacking in developing meaningful relationships.
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