You might stand out to an awesome girl if you do these 5 things, gentlemen.
When I was dating, I encountered my fair share of men I should have liked. They were smart and handsome and could correctly punctuate a sentence. Some were doctors, lawyers, or businessmen. If I had a list of all the things I wanted in a guy on paper, I met several who checked off all of the boxes.
But whether it be through messages or in person, I started to notice patterns of why some guys didn’t hold my interest and why they probably weren’t holding the interest of other available women either.
Here are some things you can employ to make a woman want and even crave you instead of all those other guys who may be filling up her inbox.
1. See her for more than her looks.
Women are constantly judged and evaluated based on their looks. While she’ll likely still love to hear you compliment her on how hot she's looking that night, she won’t find it all that appealing if that’s all you mention.
Think about it: her looks are what everyone sees, including the creeps who stare at her when she's going for a jog every morning. You’re likely not telling her something new about herself when you tell her she looks great.
Instead focus on how she is inside. Think about it: anyone can see that the woman sitting in front of you is beautiful, but can everyone else see that she’s Beyoncé-fierce, or that she’s funny or a great listener?
Acknowledging that you see your lady has a strong work-ethic will go much further than being one of the fifteen people that day that told her she looked great.
2. Pay attention to the details.
Women want to know that we are heard.
If I tell you I won’t eat anywhere that has sneeze guards, I’m going to hope that, for our next date, you don’t take me to Panda China Buffet. If you do, not only will I not eat anything, I won’t be likely to go on another date with you since you obviously didn’t listen to me.
Listening to the little things women say they like and don’t like and capitalizing on those is an easy way to score points with a woman.
Say she tells you she really really loves sloths. Well, surprise her with a trip to the zoo, or send her a cute sloth photo just to show her you’ve been thinking of her.
3. Be the chill one.
We often match the energy levels of the ones around us, but instead of matching your woman’s stress level, try bringing it down.
“Hey, how’s your day going?” you ask.
“Rough,” she says. “People are getting laid off again, and things are tense. I’m not sure if I’m going to have a job here for much longer.”
Instead of saying, “That’s so awful. What makes you think you’ll get laid off? Do you think that’s likely?” you could help chill her out. The key is being empathic and genuine. You never want to come off as fake.
You could say something like, “Take a deep breath. You haven’t been laid off, and it might not happen. Want to grab a drink later and talk about it?” This would not only score you some points with her, but also nail a next date.
4. Have some passions.
If a woman has attracted your interest, it’s likely because, on top of being someone you really really like to look at, she has some qualities that interest you.
She’s currently a secretary, but she dreams of being an artist. Her faith is important to her, so she attends church every Sunday and volunteers regularly. She’s juggling a side hustle because she wants to pay off her student loans faster, or fitness is really important to her, so she’s at the gym at 5am every day.
If you’ve given up having goals or dreams or trying to improve yourself or your life, she’s probably going to give up on you too.
If you’ve given up having goals or dreams or trying to improve yourself or your life, she’s probably going to give up on you too. Get a side-hustle yourself. Dream of where you want to be in five or ten years. Go back to school. Commit to a fitness regimen. Figure out your passion, and go after it.
5. Be emotionally vulnerable.
I’m not telling you to start sobbing on your first date as you explain how your mother abandoned your family when you were ten, but you have to acknowledge that this is the 21st century.
For thousands of years, women had to be dependent on men. The men hunted, so their families didn’t starve. Then as societies developed, women had to depend on men to financially provide for them because, without them, they had few ways to make money themselves.
Today, a woman needs to depend on you neither to kill food for her or financially provide for her, so you need to focus on connecting with her on an emotional level.
Share some of those bits of yourself that are soft, whether it be how much you love your daughter or how it was rough when your best friend passed away when you were in college. Those things will matter to her way more than how much is in your bank account.
To a woman, these tips seem like common sense, but, based on my own experience and those of the women I know, they need to be said. Ladies want these things from you, gentlemen, and you’ll stand out to a very special lady if you do them.