Use this list to your advantage, ladies!
When I was in my early 20s, I was done with dudes. My boyfriend had cheated on me, and I was perfectly content staying not dating and celibate until my body turned to dust.
But unfortunately, the men around me had other ideas. My closest guy friend confessed his love for me. My eye doctor told me with tears in his eyes that his wife had recently left him . . . before asking me out, and then my friend’s boyfriend tried to hit on me by telling me I had “a nice pooper.”
I should have been “flattered” by their attentions (I was told), but I most definitely wasn’t. I would have done anything to be ignored.
If you too want a break from men, try these out. These don’t work on all men, but you still may enjoy a period of time moving throughout the world vaguely invisible.
1. Wear a lot of make-up.
While you’d think that a lot of make-up would actually draw men to you, in a seminal study, men preferred women who wore minimal to no make-up.
So go for the glitter. Make your eyelids and creases shimmer. Contour. Paint your lips blood red. Brush your foundation on thick.
Think of it like your warpaint. If a man was to even try to kiss you, make sure his face would come away marked.
2. Don’t shave/wax/pluck.
While other cultures might embrace the unshaven woman, in most western cultures, men get hard for soft smooth skin. Further, hairlessness is seen to be closely connected to cleanliness (though there’s no scientific reason why having hair would be unhygienic).
In one study, the researchers concluded that “. . . body hair on women . . . has become an elicitor of disgust and its removal correspondingly normative” (emphasis added by the author).
There’s nothing like eliciting disgust in a man to make sure he leaves you the hell alone, so go au naturel and don all those tank tops, cute skirts, and shorts. Stretch your arms up high when a fellow tries to approach you.
Make sure that when he scans your hot legs, he can see that they’re hot hairy legs.
3. Look “alternative.”
If long-haired willowy runway models are “desirable,” then do and look the opposite.
Shave your hair to the scalp just like I did (Speaking from experience: straight men don’t commonly want to go on dates with women often mistakenly called “sir.”). Get a facial piercing, or three. Skip the pencil skirt and instead wear a sweatshirt two or three sizes too big.
4. Embrace whatever body type you want.
One study says that women with a BMI between 16 and 19% are considered the most attractive. If it takes hours of working out and abusive/unhealthy/disordered eating for you to meet that, give yourself a break.
There’s a difference between being healthy and being thin. Don’t do anything to your body solely for the interest of a man. Do it because you want to and it’s good for you.
If your body already has a BMI higher than 19%, celebrate that you got some jiggle. Fall in love with your own love handles.
5. Be unhappy.
Women who smile or appear happy are considered more attractive by men according to one study. Unhappy girls make loins shrivel is the takeaway here, so scowl away, ladies.
Complain about anything and everything. Harp on the awfulness of life. Make sure that no one that sees or hears you would want to spend any time “getting to know you better.”
Use this list to your advantage, ladies. We all have been through those periods of wishing for a true and utter break from the jerks in this world, and while you won’t be able to avoid all men, you’ll hopefully turn off enough to leave yourself a wide berth.