Certain nasty relationship habits can damage yours irrevocably
“You don’t appreciate me,” my husband said. As a Relationship Coach, I work with many couples on improving their relationship, so it’s a particular sore spot when my husband points out that I miss the mark too.Read full story
My partner's needs were prioritized over my own was a sign that our relationship had become one-sided.
“That sounds pretty one-sided,” my friend said after I’d described an interaction with my partner that was much like many of our interactions. She said it so casually, as if she was telling me her shirt was red. Yet, that day, it struck me like something much deeper. It struck me like it was truth.Read full story
My husband and I use a "Fair Fighting" contract to fight respectfully
I first heard heard of a “Fair Fighting Contract” over a decade ago when my ex-husband and I were in couples counseling. We’d made the appointment because we fought in ways that were disrespectful at the least, and mean at the worst.Read full story
Bad habits can separate healthy from unhealthy couples
Photo by AllGo - An App For Plus Size People on Unsplash. I grew up believing a healthy relationship was all about finding the right person. If a couple wasn’t healthy, it simply meant they weren’t “soulmates.”Read full story
“All-or-nothing” thinking can hurt romantic relationships
“You never listen!” I found myself whisper-yelling at my husband in an IKEA parking lot so our daughter wouldn’t overhear. “I do too!” he hissed through gritted teeth. “You didn’t tell me a time!”Read full story
Having a great relationship after kids takes hard work
I love my children. I’m so grateful I had them. But I’d be lying if I said they didn’t make things difficult. It’s harder to find time alone. It’s harder to want to be intimate when one or both of my husband and I have recently changed a poopy diaper or are covered with some other malodorous body fluid. The sleepless nights. The fatigue.Read full story
Why I Kept Settling in My Romantic Relationships
How I stopped and how you can too. I got engaged for the first time when I was 19. It sort of felt like playing pretend grown-up. We moved in together and played pretend house. He didn’t like how I loaded the dishwasher, and I didn’t like how he had an ex-wife and a toddler. It was a match that certainly hadn’t been made in heaven.Read full story
How I ruined my first vacation with a boyfriend
The first vacation my now ex-boyfriend and I ever went on was to sunny beautiful Destin, Florida. We’d been dating less than a year, so this was a big step for us. Our first vacation together.Read full story
Couples counseling can be helpful for any couple, even if you and your partner are fine
The room Beverly led us to was bright. Too bright. I blinked my eyes at the unexpected light spilling through the open blinds and onto the pristine couch and tastefully selected throw pillows.Read full story
I changed what I watched, listened to, and read and I was happier
What you watch, read, and listen to has a dramatic impact on your well-being. I lived with a lot of rage as a teenager. Beyond the normal teen devastations like homework and hard social situations and does he like me?, I had an abusive home environment that I felt personally responsible for. I had to somehow juggle my mother’s unpredictable and violent rages. I had to not let anyone find out what was going on to keep my family (read: my sister and me) together. I had to keep it together (“it” meaning both myself and my emotional reactions and my family).Read full story
It was time to leave my unhealthy relationship. How I figured that out.
If these ring true for you too, it may be time to say goodbye. When I selected this article’s title, I thought back to all of the articles I’d read just like this one while being in an unhealthy relationship myself. I’d read all of the signs and discount them: That’s only a problem sometimes. It’ll get better! I just need to wait it out.Read full story
Simple Ways to Show Your Man You Respect Him
Your partner should’ve already earned your respect, so show it to him regularly. Early on in our marriage, my husband said, “I don’t feel like you respect me.”. I had no idea what he was talking about.Read full story
One in six couples are affected by infertility. My ex-husband and I were one of them.
It took my ex-husband and I two years and three months to get pregnant. 2 years and 3 months. 27 months. 821 days. To get pregnant ONCE. That’s the time it took, but that doesn’t include how I changed my diet multiple times, hoping eliminating caffeine or dairy or sugar or soy or gluten would be that magic fix. How at one point I was eating my dinner for breakfast in the hopes that would somehow help with my blood sugar issues, which meant I was eating pot roast and carrots at five in the morning.Read full story
Tips for how to get a girl interested in you
Ladies want these things from you, gentlemen, and you’ll stand out to a very special one if you do them. As a single mother who re-entered the dating scene in my early 30s, I encountered my fair share of men who wanted me to like them, and on paper, I should have. They were good-looking and could correctly punctuate a sentence. Some were even doctors, lawyers, or businessmen.Read full story
Is your marriage on its way to divorce? Here are tips to avoid that.
There’s no guarantee a marriage will “make” it, but there are ways to help you keep divorce at bay. If I’d known how awful divorce was going to feel, I wouldn’t have gotten married to my first husband. I absolutely would have ended that relationship. I’d say we loved each other, but only to a point. Mostly, we both had willful fantasies about each other and what a “marriage” should be. It didn’t help that there was a drug addiction and criminal activity thrown in there too.Read full story
"They want you to touch them. All the time." What to know if your partner's love language is Physical Touch
It’s the most misinterpreted love language, and it may be harder for you to understand if it’s not also your own. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, pastor, counselor, and author of The Five Love Languages, people prefer to give and receive affection/love in one of five ways:Read full story
How One Woman Nearly Died Giving Birth at a Memphis hospital
Eighteen hours after a scheduled c-section, my then-husband had to wonder, “How am I going to raise twins on my own?”. The not quite so funny thing about medical malpractice lawsuits is the emphasis on long-term physical effects. Emotional pain and suffering are add-on complaints. What really matters is if you would forever never be able to form words or perform simple tasks with your writing hand.Read full story
My Sister Told Me Off and Blocked Me Because I Told a Family Secret
Sharing family secrets very much seems like a betrayal. Ours was so woven into the fabric of my family’s makeup and into our portrayal to everyone else. I assumed there’d be some blowback. My readers have primarily been supportive. One said I had written an article about an “infantile” act, which is fine. I believe wholeheartedly in, “Take what you like and leave the rest.” If cutting off contact doesn’t work for you, don’t do it.Read full story
When my divorce was final, I put the final period on a very painful chapter of my life.
When the divorce was final, I put the final period on a very painful chapter of my life, but I also got a whole new book, one I’d have the freedom to write exactly as I wanted.Read full story
Why it was so hard for me to leave my unhealthy relationship
It’s all about how much time, effort, and resources you’ve already invested. I bought a dress for work from a well-known designer brand. A belted sleeveless cream dress, it looked like a good investment for $240 (which, on my salary, was a lot for me to spend on one item). I wanted to get somewhere at work, and this dress could help me look the part, I believed. I took my measurements and selected the appropriate size and ordered it online.Read full story