A $20,000 Secret That Ended a Marriage
The $20,000 secret that ended a marriage. My then husband and I were refinancing our home mortgage. The last thing I needed to send over to the lender was a copy of his credit card statement, the only one I didn’t have access to. He was weirdly evasive about getting it to me, but he finally handed it over a week later.
Read full storyWhy the Manosphere Does Not Want Women to Get Divorced
As a 32 year old divorcée with twin infants, I was, to the manosphere, "undesirable." When I'd started dating following my separation, I'd already heard plenty of snarky comments: "No man will want to take care of someone else's kids." "You lost your desirability at 25."
Read full storyOPINION: A Nurse Overdosed Me On Opioids, But Legal Experts Said I Was Too Healthy to Sue
I lived, but that was the problem. I nearly died after my twins were born. The “nearly” here is important because when I contacted five lawyers afterward to try to sue for medical negligence, the fact that I was alive and well was a problem. If I hadn’t been, they would have taken the suit in a heartbeat (or…lack thereof). After my fifth rejection from a medical malpractice law firm, I didn’t try any further.
Read full storyOPINION: Men: It's Time to Give up the Red Pill to Improve Your Relationships
As a relationship coach, I work with couples on improving their connection, intimacy, communication, conflict-resolution, and division of labor. These are all necessary parts of a healthy and happy relationship, yet the Red Pill communities and thought leaders espouse beliefs about women and relationships that work against them. In fact, the only way I've seen that men can improve their relationships is to give up these Red Pill beliefs altogether.
Read full storyWhy Sharing Chores Might Not Lead to More Intimacy
“Choreplay” and the myth of housework and desire. If you and your partner share chores, it seems you’re also likely to have more intimacy. There’s even a word for this now: “choreplay.”
Read full storyWhy Your Relationship with Your Affair Partner Will Likely End
Comparison and love chemicals can make us dumb. I had an emotional affair on my first husband. I’d already filed for divorce, but we were in limbo, playing with whether we’d try to make it work or not. When I developed an intense crush on someone else, it was a mere eight days before our separation became official.
Read full storyOpinion: Marriage Doesn't Work for Women, But It Can
I was a married single mother. I got divorced for a lot of big reasons (like substance abuse and theft), but even if those hadn't been in play, I very likely would have gotten divorced anyway. I was too exhausted, too overwhelmed.
Read full storyMen Have Been Attacking Women's Looks When They Feel Threatened for Centuries
The rise and fall of Sarah Mapp, the famous female bonesetter. She couldn’t have been petite, delicate, or demure. In fact, in caricatures circulated of her, she was as compact as a muscled toad, and she had to have been to be a “bonesetter,” what we would view today as an 18th century orthopedist. Her other job title, more beautiful, was “Shape-Mistress.”
Read full storyI'm Happily Married, yet I Can See How Marriage Can be a Scam for Women
Marriage vastly benefits men over women, and it’s a problem. My parents had a traditional marriage, yet my mother never romanticized being a stay-at-home parent. She told me, in fact, to do the opposite.
Read full storyI Got Divorced Because I Didn't Want to Be a Married Single Mom Anymore
…and I’ve never regretted it. “Are you okay?” my then husband asked. I blinked and looked at him. “You’ve been washing your hands for probably 5 minutes now.”. “Oh,” I said and turned off the sink and wiped my hands on a towel. I’d been thinking of all of the things I needed to do that day and trying to figure out how I was going to get it all done, and I must have zoned out in the middle of washing my hands.
Read full storyOpinion: The "Great Divorce" Is Here, and Men Should Beware
Women are initiating 69%+ of divorces, and inequitable division of labor is becoming more and more of a reason why. I got divorced in 2018. While I got divorced for many reasons (substance abuse and financial infidelity being the major ones), I likely would have gotten divorced anyway, and it would have been because of an inequitable division of labor.
Read full storyI Was in so Much Emotional Pain and Didn't Understand Why
Toxic relationships can have a severe impact on us. Entering into a relationship SHOULD be an exciting experience. But in my case, the majority of my relationships ended with me in pieces wondering what happened. Because of that, I often entered into new relationships full of tension and anxiety, waiting for the inevitable curtain to drop and reveal that I'd made a poor choice yet again. This was because I'd often found myself trapped in toxic, unhealthy, abusive, or narcissistic relationships. Each of these relationships left me with emotional and psychological wounds that were difficult to heal. And heal I had to if I wanted to get out of them for good.
Read full storyI Wanted Love, but Feared Intimacy: The Paradox of Commitment Phobia
Looking at my past history, you’d think I was the exact opposite of a commitment-phobe. Prior to dating my ex-husband when I was 23, I had one long-term relationship that lasted more than a year. I was then with my ex-husband for ten.
Read full storyMen Should Be Concerned That Women Are Initiating Divorce More than 70% of the Time
Divorce isn’t something I would wish on anyone. There’s nothing quite like having all of these witnesses to the end of your relationship; lawyers and judges and mediators who are the only ones directly benefiting from your relationship’s demise.
Read full storyPeople-pleasing can turn into a shortcoming when we start putting the needs of others before ourselves.
When we start putting the needs of others before ourselves, there are going to be repercussions. We all desire others to be happy, and we want them to be happy with us. We want to be good daughters or sons, good employees, good friends, and good partners, and we often want to do things that will earn us praise and please those around us.
Read full storyThe day my divorce from my ex-husband became official, Facebook made it awful.
Social media can make healing from your divorce more difficult, but here are some tips to help you in the process. The day my divorce from my ex-husband became official, Facebook made it more awful.
Read full storyAvoiding the Pitfalls of Marriage: Lessons Learned the Hard Way
If I’d known how awful divorce was going to feel, I wouldn’t have gotten married to my first husband. I absolutely would have ended that relationship before we got married.
Read full storyWhen women are friendly, they end up paying a price for it.
I’m super friendly. I smile pretty much all of the time. I remember your name and the names of your dog, spouse, and/or children. I will remember that you are training for a triathlon or visiting an exotic location soon, and I’ll ask you about it when I see you six months to a year later.
Read full storyMost men are afraid to admit to their partners and themselves about what they want.
It can be easier to ask for anything other than nurturing. My husband was taught lessons most young boys from his generation were: “man up,” “crying is for sissies,” and “real men don’t ask for help!”
Read full storyThe Women We Leave Behind: Recognizing and Letting Go of Unhealthy Friendships
These are the types of female friends I say thank u, next to. I recently reconnected with an old female friend. We’d worked together for five years and then kept in touch off and on after I left that job six years ago. I was glad to hear from her, and we’ve been chatting regularly again for the past couple of weeks.
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