We generally get self-conscious when we cry. Crying is not necessarily a bad thing as something bothered you so much that it has manifested physically into tears.
However, we don’t like being seen when we are crying. We worry that others will take us less seriously or that others will judge us to be weak. In fact, you could argue that you powered through so much messed up that you reached a breaking point.
By being able to cry, maybe you could argue that you were extremely strong to be able to hold onto it for so long. People fall into the deep pits of darkness for much less.
Plus, sometimes we cry because we are just compassionate. Imagine if you were a cold-minded person — you wouldn’t be able to cry because you wouldn’t feel anything. However, by crying, maybe you’ve shown that you have the capacity to be kind and empathetic to others.
We are not robots, and we aren’t expected to be perfect all the time. Every now and then we need a break, and sometimes the state of the world makes us so tired that we need a breather.
For some of us that means:
- Grabbing a can of beer
- Napping for a bit
- Exercising to get those dark energies out
- Doing yoga
..and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
However, when we’re in the darkest throes of drama, our best thing to do is not worry about how we come across to others. That is an additional mental effort that will make it harder to stop the tears.
Focus on you, the full totality of you, in that sheer and terrifying moment.
How Can I Control My Tears Right Now?
- Tilt your head up high, to allow the tears to not fall down your face.
- Blink rapidly, as if your eyes are windshield wipers, to allow the tears to also not fall down.
- Tense up your muscles as if you’re angry to trick your mind into focussing less on the crying.
- Pinch the skin between your pointer finger and thumb or even between your toes, to allocate pain elsewhere.
- Practice doing controlled breathing, and actively focus on the state of your breaths.
- Activate a resting face, aka the neutral face, to prime yourself into not react as much as you were just now.
- Physically walk away from ongoing stressful situations, including arguments and toxic people.
- Find a place to sit down and recuperate. Take a nap if you need to, or find some other engaging activity to distract yourself with.
- Record an audio file of yourself venting, journal your thoughts, and call it a day.
- Recharge yourself with water, food, and drink. Crying can physically drain you and the fact that you fought it off was no easy feat.
What Was I Even Crying About?
You’re probably wondering why you were crying. Crying is just something that can be pretty universal and natural. Even the manliest of men do it. Your grandma has done it. Even your friends' have done it too.
While it’s normal to cry, consider the following:
- You were overwhelmed by something physically
- You were likely just caught off guard
- Something messed up happened
Plus, if we’re chronic criers, it’s best to think about this proactively. We likely cried because of something in our environment, in our finances, in our relationships, or even something else.
Maybe it was a combination of many things. Take the time to explore what was bothering you. Take your time doing it. Maybe you want to reduce your chances of interacting with whatever it was that caused you to feel this way.
Maybe you were overdoing things. Maybe you worked too hard this week. Maybe you just needed to take it easy.
How Can I Stop Crying In the Future?
Like said earlier, we’re not robots. We can’t just be in situations where we never cry. Even if you never cry, you have a weakness and that weakness can get discovered, as an Achille’s Heel, and maybe you will cry sooner or later.
For now, to think about future crying times, consider the following:
- What caused the current state of crying?
- Were you procrastinating?
- Are your goals realistic?
- Do you have friends to help keep you happy?
- Do you know any breathing exercises?
- Can you ask a friend for help?
- Were you overscheduling?
- Is there a hobby you can work on right now to get yourself away from the stress?
- Have you had enough sleep?
With regards to the above, you can try to be a more realistic scheduler of your time, ensuring that you are able to do things simply and on time.
Perhaps you are going through pain alone and would benefit from making a friend or two. Now’s a good time to use the internet to meet people virtually. I mean, no one can physically harm you virtually.
Plus, some research on different breathing exercises could be helpful. Maybe a YouTube video on mindfulness body scans works for you, but for the next dude, it requires maybe listening to the sounds of the ocean.
Finally, maybe you’re just tired because…you’re a worse critic of yourself than you realize.
How Can I Move On From This?
Crying can be pretty natural. Emotionally and physically, you were drained. Sure, some people cry more than others and it can feel uncomfortable, but it’s a universal human emotion.
It’s not specific to just males or just females. I mean, you could be a dude who cries even if there is a social stigma in some parts of the world. And sure, we can take more proactive measures to stop crying, as mentioned earlier.
However, just remember that crying is a secondary response to something. For example, if something bothers you, others respond by throwing it out there as anger, and you’ve taken the ultimate sacrifice of throwing it into yourself, as tears.
If anything, crying is a lot better than punching walls.
Plus, if you need the emotional soundboard of a therapist or counsellor, the option is there. They’re neutral third-party support that can help you make sense of the confusing stuff surrounding your life — but that’s only if you’re into that.
For now, just keep on being you — your overall worth is not tied to your crying but is instead based on your personality, wit, and charm.