The beginning of each relationship can be quite fun and exciting. You get to explore one another and figure out what the other party wants, whether it is their dreams, their talents, their likes, and their dislikes.
Unfortunately, in any relationship, keeping up with the momentum and the spontaneous energy for one another can be quite exhausting. You might find yourself physically and mentally tired and unable to keep the fort down.
It’s okay to feel this way sometimes. It’s also not the end of the world, even if it feels that way right now. Sometimes, when we’re in a relationship for a very long time, things may start to feel dull and boring, because you’re getting used to many parts of the relationship, and you have to now figure out new ways to keep going.
2020 has definitely impacted our ability to have some spontaneous adventures and we have to come up with some very creative alternatives instead, especially if we are limited by our laws, our finances, and so many other things, like children, pets, and our extended families.
Fortunately, there are other ways to keep yourselves engaged, even with the many distractions from the world around you. For example, if you’re feeling unsatisfied right now, you’re probably overthinking the whole situation.
Instead of stressing over what you can do with your partner, talk about the situation with them, and actually try out the things that you both agree upon.
Even if you lost a bit of that initial excitement, you likely want to be in this relationship for the long-run, and you and your partner have plenty of time to continue to explore one another, especially in the years ahead.
For now, here are some tips to get those creative gears rolling.
1. Schedule Activities Together
We usually schedule our time for other important commitments like work or school. One could say that being with your partner is very important as well.
You and your partner can create a bucket list and throw in some activities that you two can sit down and do together. For example, maybe you can set up one night per month where the two of you work on something that you’ve never tried before, like trying out that fancy new recipe together or even playing with that new instrument that you bought recently.
Whatever it is that you end up doing, it can be something that you don’t usually do. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to try, as it’s better than twiddling your thumbs hoping for the problem to go away.
Even if the event doesn’t go the way that you wanted it to, at least you know what things to not do anymore. Plus, it’s something to look forward to as the days go by.
2. Be Attentive
It’s easy to go through life on auto-pilot and take things for granted, like the food on the table, and the maintenance of your own house. However, it’s good to be aware of your immediate surroundings, including the state of your partner.
One of the best things you can do is be attentive to your partner’s body language. If your partner seems to be slightly cold while you’re both watching a movie, perhaps you will instinctively put a blanket on their shoulders. If they seem tired, perhaps you will cheer them up with a cup of their favourite coffee.
Either way, these adorable little moments count. Even if they aren’t spontaneous adventures, doing these little things a lot, will reignite something in your partner.
Our actions are one of many things that can keep your relationship going, especially when you go through the darkest of times. Plus, you’re their shoulder to cry on. If they don’t have you, then who else can support them when the times are tough?
3. Be a Little Flirty and Compliment One Another
If you’ve been together for a long time, it’s easy to forget the way we were in the beginning stages of the relationship. Perhaps you said some witty one-liners that caused the other person to swoon.
However, you can keep the flame going by taking a page out of your own manual and be throw in a good or funny flirtatious line here and there. Perhaps you will leave little notes in random parts of the house, for your partner to find when they wake up.
When they’re feeling down, you can genuinely and randomly comment on how much you like their eyes, their ears, their mouth, or even their nose. The possibilities for compliments are endless. It’s just a matter of finding something positive to focus on.
4. Surprise One Another
Everyone likes a decent surprise every now and then. Once you get used to a relationship, perhaps you need to look back at the small and big things that you once did for your partner.
Maybe this person has a favorite motivational speaker or favorite food. Perhaps you will randomly purchase something meaningful or make them a nice little trinket. Even if it's slightly nonsensical to some people, these little gestures are often thoughtful and encouraging.
In the years ahead, your partner can look fondly at these little trinkets that you provided them and it will keep the flame going, as a visual reminder of how much you went through. Plus, they can always reciprocate back and give you things in return.
Even if you’re tight on money right now, can you still do other things like recording that movie that your partner always raves on about, perfecting your recipe for that awesome dinner, and so much more.
5. Don’t Wait
Our relationships aren’t always going to be rosy and you might start to build a little anger, resentment or annoyance towards your partner. Your partner might be feeling the same.
However, it’s not good to stew in our negative thoughts. Rather than assume that our partners hate us, it’s better to talk it out and make sense of the situation. Map it out if you need to.
Perhaps there was some miscommunication between you and the partner. A good way to disrupt the confusion is to actively take the opportunity to disrupt the ambiguity by talking about it clearly.
When in relationships, don’t take things for granted and take charge of any problems before they get worse. If you’re feeling a little less than excited than usual, it can be normal, but you and your partner can work together to make it work.
You’ve already gone through a lot together, and you can get through so much more, especially in the years ahead.