What are the Life and Career Options of those of us with ADHD, Autism and other forms of Neuro-divergency
Are you a parent with a school leaver coming up? Do they have cognitive neuro-divergency — or perhaps not? Are they just non-conformists? There are no easy answers but there are ways of exploring the question.Read full story
Why Learning to Laugh at Yourself Keeps you Sane
Being able to laugh at yourself is a simple route to developing inner peace — a kind of humility that has no lack of self worth attached. It also helps us be more resilient and compassionate with self and others.Read full story
ADHD and Time Managament
Tips for parenting your self or your child with ADHD. ADHD is often linked with distractedness and attention issues but not so often specifically about time and timing issues. yet it can be one of the biggest struggles for us.Read full story
When is it time to go?
No matter how much my family tried to pretend that we were a normal and happy successful family, this was just not the truth. I have since realised that this is true for many other families, that we all want the narrative of a happy family. And yet, family is the source of so much mental illness and distress.Read full story
ADHD and how mindfulness can help
‘Maybe the fear is that we are less than we think we are when the actuality is that we are much much more.’ Jon Kabat Zinn. In 2016, at a Thich Nhat Hanh Zen buddhist community (COI) family Mindfulness retreat in Stourbridge UK, I worked with families with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) diagnoses. My sons and I also all have ADHD and I wanted to share some reflections on mindfulness practice and how it relates to ADHD. I believe this is important at this present time because more and more people are being diagnosed with ADHD and being medicated away from who they are. Mindfulness offers all people affected both directly or indirectly an opportunity to find a realistic and long-term response to this.Read full story
Develop Self Reliance in an Uncertain World
We are living in confusing times and for most people this is a challenge they are not prepared for. A quote often misunderstood is that the buddha said be your own refuge. Therefore, Ānanda, dwell with yourself as your own island (dīpa),¹ with yourself as your own refuge, take no other refuge. Take the Dhamma as your island, take the Dhamma as your refuge, take no other refuge. And how, Ānanda, does a monk dwell taking himself as his own island, taking himself as his own refuge, taking no other refuge? Here, Ānanda, a bhikkhu dwells contemplating the body in the body, ardent, clearly comprehending, and mindful, having abandoned covetousness and grief concerning the world. He dwells contemplating feelings in feelings … thoughts in thoughts … mind-objects in mind-objects…Read full story
Life Lessons from Escaping Abusive Narcissistic Relationships
Mindfulness theory teaches us to see the good in everything, and to accept everything as a gift. So this is my take on one gift I received. My mother was a psychopathic narcissist, completely impossible to please and completely impossible to be loved by. My unconscious desire to heal that relationship led me into another narcissistic relationship with a covert, charming narcissist that lasted for five years. I wanted it to last for ever. I wanted so badly to win that man over to loving me. It took me far too long to recognise that I was repeating a cycle of abuse, but by this time it was a common form of self-abuse, and largely unconscious.Read full story
Letting Go and Non-Attachment
These two teachings the cornerstone of good mental health. Almost all images of the Buddha are a depiction of serenity (there are some when he is laughing a full belly laugh). Never are there any images of his face looking sad or dejected. This is the point of the Buddhas teachings, that life is to be enjoyed and for us to find happiness within our own self, our own mind and emotions.Read full story
A Death in the Family and how Mindfulness helps you Cope with it
We recently had a bereavement in our family. An elderly close relative passed away, after 97 years of well lived life in her own terms. It was not Covid related but it was utterly traumatic an Covid made that far worse.Read full story
An ADHD Mother with two ADHD sons - recipe for disaster? Not quite.
I never felt good enough as a mother, not until recently that is, now that both my sons are also adults and are sorting out their own life and relationship challenges, using many of the skills and understanding we worked on together.Read full story
My Mother had Narcissistic Personality Disorder but she was not a Bad Person
Most people view narcissism as a terrible personality trait to have, based on the notion of total self-love. They are right to do so. Narcissistic personality disorder does make monsters out of humans who are so damaged they are unable to function in ways that work, and their alternative ways are very destructive to others.Read full story
Getting Married Twice
Oh so many people had theri opinions about our decision. One friend even stopped talking to me as it was clear she thought I had betrayed my feminist principles. I hadn’t, haven’t. I had just met ‘the one’. And I was in my early forties so not prepared to waste any more time.Read full story
Finding new love when you thought it was all over for you.
Just when you thought it was all over, you are past your sell by date or there is no one left who is worth being with, stop and think again. It might be just a new beginning, a new dawn on the rest of your life.Read full story
The Subtle Art of Letting Go and how it Leads to Greater Happiness
This article discusses the art of letting go and non- attachment also how we can use it within our lives. This seems to apply more than ever to our lives in the virus lockdown and pandemic, and how much suffering has been added to the lives of so many.Read full story
RE-building Relationships That Last.
Relationships die in one of two ways. They usually get damaged from either a slow eroding, undermining process or from one huge issue that erupts and leaves havoc in its wake. Only occasionally are they a total disaster from the word go. Whichever you are faced with, deciding whether to call it quits and move on, or whether it is possible to heal that relationship, is a question you will need to consider.Read full story
What is Love and why is it so hard to find
To understand love you also have to have a clear idea of what it is not. I have had plenty of experience at that. A friend once said to me, many decades ago now, that each soul has a mate somewhere in the world and they are always searching to find each other. Neither can rest until they do meet, and sometimes it takes many lifetimes.Read full story