It takes a brave and courageous person to stand up for themselves in adverse situations. Challenges were the stepping stones to my growth. I wouldn’t be who I am without facing adversity head-on. I would not be conditioned to handle people who do not like me if I didn’t have a small taste of that throughout my life and growing from it. We all go through situations that completely destroy us; many end up in the self-perpetuating cycle of feeling down for a long time and cannot do day-to-day tasks or work on their goals. These are turning points in life where we are given options to go a different direction. Instead of being upset about my circumstances, I decided to use them to better my life. We have so many different opportunities on our journeys; if we are destined for greatness, nothing can stop us. I had to step back and look at every situation as an observer and ask myself some questions. How can I do things better? How can I improve my current situation? What makes me happy? What am I grateful for every day?
This last question is huge because we get caught up in all the negatives and are unable to see the positives in our situation. Why is it that we are so caught in this loop that drags us down that low? Once, when I kept counting my blessings, wishing for my situation to get better, and took massive action, nothing happened. I just kept trying and trying, and eventually, I realized it was my environment. People in my environment didn’t want me to succeed. Their ego would not allow them to give me the positivity I deserved.
Change your direction
The first thing I did was think about how to change my path, from my living situation to my career to my friends. I had to make these changes—I had no other choice. My family disowned me and asked me not to come back, my friends didn’t care about me and the dark times proved that, and I couldn’t think of one reason why I was still living in the same place I was last year. There was no need for me to stick around. When I thought about change, it lightened me up, and I knew it was the next step. A lot of people are frightened by change because they don’t know what to expect and they don’t want to go backward. This used to be me. When it pours, you automatically think, “Well, it can’t get worse from here.” I decided to take a few steps back and plan everything out. I wanted to achieve things in life, and I knew I wasn’t going to do that if I was stuck in my situation. Seek change when things get difficult.
Find the missing piece
For me, total fulfillment includes helping and being there for others from a nourishing and loving place. I wanted to show love like I had never been loved before. I grew up in a family who cast me out for being unique. My illnesses built me differently, and I was living a different lifestyle than my peers. They didn’t understand me and thought I was a bad person for not being like them. Eventually, many of them dealt with health issues that were beyond them and never said a word back to me after that.
I always search for areas of improvement. What can I do today to help others in my life? Are these people going to appreciate me? I have helped many people but never received support during my darkest times. I helped without expectation, but at the end of the day, I realized I was the only giver in my circle of friends. Most of my “friends” didn’t care to be there for me when I needed them. In fact, they hurt and betrayed me. I had to overcome this and realize what it meant to have quality people in my life. If we can’t be there for one another through thick and thin, it is not worth it. I discovered this about myself in solitude; it was the missing piece for total life fulfillment. I had much to offer, but I offered it to the wrong people.
Build new things
The world is changing rapidly, and it is important to look into what interests you most. I wanted to find ways to help women with autoimmune conditions. I wanted to build a community focused on what I needed when I was down with illnesses. I couldn’t find this, and it was terrifying to pay a doctor $200 for every visit and not accomplish anything. I wanted to be in great health, and I was willing to do whatever it took to achieve that.
I know tragedies are tests, and we all go through them. It is a sad part of life, but they change us for the better. We are equipped with the tools we need to excel in the world.