I just found out my father passed away. I was in total shock. I was shivering all the way to the hospital. I didn’t know what happened, and I didn’t want to think too much about my loss. When I got to the hospital, my family was supportive of me for the first day. Then, the next day, they started to spread rumors and gossip about me. I thought they had my back and would always be there for me. Instead, they stabbed me in the back, threatened to call the cops if I attended my father’s funeral, and kicked me out of my home. It was disheartening to say the least. How could they not understand what I had to overcome alone to get to where I am standing? How could they not see that I had gone through so much suffering from my health to be the miracle I was today? Why were they making me feel like I was not good enough?
All these thoughts flooded my mind and made me realize these people were living an illusion. They were not living a life full of different perspectives. They were caught in their addictions and thoughts that put them out of touch with reality. I realized that disabled people with autoimmune conditions lack compassionate support. We must take the initiative to stand behind them.
Unless they are in my shoes…
It is true that most people won’t understand you. They are too caught up in their perspective of you to see anything different. They have not had the experiences you have, and this is why you should be grateful for your autoimmune condition. You are the only person who can relate to others’ suffering.
I felt like I didn’t belong. I wanted to help other women achieve their dreams, but I was not in a place to address their concerns because of my credentials at the time. I realized that I didn’t need credentials, and I am my own health advocate. Genuine compassion goes a long way when you are dealing with someone with an autoimmune condition. Most people can’t relate and will never understand. They will get by saying, “that’s tough,” or “that sucks,” or “I am sorry to hear that.” True compassion means you will do everything in your power to help and be there for another person. True compassion is rare today. Most people are in it for themselves; others don’t come first. It is hard to suffer through these diseases, and not having others’ support makes it even more painful. If you know someone who has an autoimmune condition, try to be there in any way you can because it will mean the world to them.
Always being treated like you are not good enough
I have seen this trend over and over again with people who suffer from autoimmune conditions. They feel that they are not good enough. They were brought up this way and told this over and over again by their parents. The childhood trauma eventually compounds and results in betrayal and abandonment. To heal this part of yourself, you have to learn to love the person you are. I had to work hard to understand who I am, and I had many life lessons to help me become happier about my strength, adaptability, and even being in my own body. I was an ugly duckling when I was younger. Everywhere I went, people would call me names and hate on me. As I grew older, that hate started to diminish as I started to bloom. People saw me becoming healthier, and they were jealous of how I was developing. I was never going to win, so I decided it isn’t about them—it’s about me and what makes me happy. It doesn’t matter if others think I’m not good enough or what they think of me. I am human and so are they; we are all entitled to our opinions. I started to think of what would make me happy and how I could start transforming into the best version of myself. Are you happy?
Living life without a support system
You guessed it—I grew up without a support system. I went through many things alone that most people do not face in a lifetime. A pimp raped me at a young age and tried to sell me off. The police gave me the option of going ahead with a misdemeanor or going to jail that night. Then, I couldn’t get a job, and I had to work at three different Subways to get that off my record. Then, I struggled as the only woman in a male-dominated space where I was taken advantage of in many business deals. I wasn’t paid for my work. Throughout my life, I was sick with this autoimmune condition that I felt I would never have a handle on, no matter how hard I tried. When you don’t have a support system, you learn that you don’t need anyone. You are meant to lead a soul family. This is a given when you tune into your mind and body.