Last year tested me, and I had the opportunity to understand the people in my life and what their roles were. I thought I had many amazing and supportive family members and friends, but over the year, I witnessed something I would call the grand purge. Everyone who I thought was the most supportive in my life stabbed me in the back and found opportunities to try to dim my light. They wanted to see me fail, and they were doing everything in their power to see me fall. I didn’t understand what they gained from this besides them finding amusement trying to “put me in my place”—an ego-driven mindset that was totally unhealthy for my evolution and where I wanted to go in life. Most people don’t care to think before they speak, and they are too stuck in their selfish desires to care about anyone else.
All the adversity I have faced in my life has conditioned me to be the strong, independent woman I am today. Luckily, I didn’t depend on anyone because I knew that meant I had to conform to their ways of thinking. It was in my best interest to stand on my own two feet, away from the crowd. The less attached I was, the better outlook I received for the vision I was carrying out. I knew that I had to go through this adversity to have the strength to fulfill my destiny and purpose.
Here are a few lessons I learned from the adversity I have faced:
Grow up fast
As I was growing up, my mother was diagnosed with a mental condition. My father always worked hard. I didn’t really have that emotional support I longed for from my parents. I knew I wasn’t going to get it because of the toxic environment I grew up in. My best option was to grow up fast and become independent. My mom was not in touch with reality because of her mental health, and she would often make irrational decisions, like trying to kick me out of her home when I visited. I never wanted to be around her because her condition hurt me. When I heard about loving mothers and their children, I used to think, why did I deserve this? Instead, I switched my mindset to, what am I learning from this? I learned how to understand my mom and tolerate her behavior. This situation humbled me, and I slowly learned not to depend on my family members because they could not be there for me. I found their ways of living toxic, and I am all about health and wellness. The only way I could move forward was to stay in my lane and mature fast. I knew I was not going to have a support system moving forward.
Stop listening to people
Many people didn’t want to see me win. They would do anything to see me fail and kick me while I was down. I realized that I have to listen to my heart and be still. Your soul truly knows what it wants, but your mind has to be still for you to hear it. I learned that no matter how much adversity I was going through, with everyone mobbing up against me, I was destined to win. I knew in my soul that eventually when it was my turn to rise, their bad omens wouldn’t affect me. They could keep spreading false rumors and gossip, but when there are more people who like you and see the truth than people that don’t like you, gossip doesn’t get very far. I learned to take my advice, and if there was ever a time I was struggling to figure out a problem, I would look for clues and do research. The less I depended on other people’s advice, the more I advanced. Sometimes, people don’t want you to better than them, so they will try to give you advice to make you fail. We live in a toxic world, and many people are in it for themselves. This is the sad reality. It’s best to navigate through this world with our own lens.
Don’t give up on your vision
Several moments in my life made me want to give up on everything and everyone. I didn’t feel like the people in my life were supportive, so what was I truly living for? When I started to lose everything and eventually lost my father, I couldn’t find the meaning of life. I became very closed off, and I stopped sharing my problems with others. The truth is that most people don’t care; they will try to be empathetic but don’t ever do anything to help you out. You can tell the difference right away. The people who care about you will make every effort to help you get off the ground and find a way to keep going. I never found anyone that truly cared about me when I was on the ground. They would say things like, “I am sorry for your loss” and “that sucks,” but no one truly helped me in an impactful way.
Through all this adversity, I learned that I want to help and support others in ways that didn’t happen to me. This is rare in the world we live in today, but it is a necessity.