Opinion | Women Who Abuse Men

Stroudsburg Herald

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The media and the government focus the most on female victims of domestic violence, despite almost equal amounts of abuse occurring against men by women.

Women commit violent acts against men daily without making the news. They humiliate them and threaten their safety and the safety of their children.

In addition to being the master manipulators, these toxic women may also claim that they are the victims when, in truth, they are the ones committing the crime.

In a 2001 study, Domestic Violence And The Male Victim, the method of operation of these offenders is presented. The study breaks down the tactics used by these toxic women. For example;

Allegations of violence: Wives did not hesitate to make false allegations to achieve their goals. Geoff, an abused partner, described one of his experiences: "She started punching me violently. As I moved away, one of the punches landed on the door frame, and she broke her hand. She told everyone I had attacked her with a cricket bat.'. In other cases, after a fight with her partner, the wife would run to the police making false allegations of violence; when a trace of injury was present, her allegations were not substantiated though it was automatically assumed it was the fault of the male."

"(a) Physical assault - Verbal assault: The most commonly reported form of violence was an unreasonable and unprovoked verbal attack: endless shouting, calling names, insulting, etc., paralyzed the man's ego and defense system to the breaking point. On the physical side of the problem, most common were reports of husbands being kicked, scratched, and punched, or having their hands and arms bitten while trying to protect themselves, throwing or making direct contact with weapons such as knives, bottles, plates, photos, ashtrays, hot irons, and hot liquid, causing the man serious injury, often requiring medical attention."

"(i) Sexual abuse: Women used sex as a form of punishment, or as a means of manipulation, with some demanding sex at any hour of the day or night, or in a manner, the partner disliked or could not perform. If the man did not comply, the woman would go on the attack, making derogatory remarks about his virility ('if you loved me, you would cut off your penis' or 'What are you, a man or a mouse?'). Retaliation for 'non-performance' included things like humiliation (often in front of friends), criticizing his manhood, threatening to have affairs with other men, or locking the man out of the house."

Violence by women against men is a problem and a real issue. We can see this displayed in the media. The Johnny Depp trial and the infamous slap that Will Smith gave to Chris Rock in frustration with his cheating wife. Even though men are abused in significant numbers, more money and resources are spent on women's programs. There has to be more awareness to expose this abuse.

We as a society must begin speaking out against this injustice on behalf of our sons, brothers, grandsons, fathers, and grandfathers who are suffering at the hands of these vultures. Violence is never the answer.

* The views, information, or opinions expressed here are solely those of the individual submitting the letter. Please submit your own Letter to the Editor here.

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