Opinion: Narcissists Face Challenges When Dating Later in Life

Stacy Ann

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a psychological condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration. While narcissists may have had successful romantic relationships earlier in life, dating can become increasingly challenging as they age for various factors.

Reduced physical attractiveness

As people age, physical appearance changes. Hair thins, wrinkles appear, and bodies become less toned. This can be a significant challenge for narcissists who place a high value on their physical appearance. As they begin to lose their youthful looks, narcissists may struggle to find partners who meet their high standards of attractiveness. They may become preoccupied with their appearance, seeking cosmetic procedures to maintain their youthful appearance or fix perceived flaws. This preoccupation can be off-putting to potential partners, who may view the narcissist as shallow or superficial.

Difficulty maintaining long-term relationships

Narcissists are often more interested in the thrill of a new relationship than in maintaining a long-term commitment. As they age, they may struggle to form and maintain long-term relationships. They may find they no longer have the same energy or desire to pursue new relationships constantly. This can be frustrating for the narcissist, who may feel a sense of emptiness or boredom without the excitement of a new relationship. However, the tendency to prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their partner can make it difficult for them to form lasting connections.

Limited social networks

As people age, their social networks tend to shrink. This can be particularly challenging for narcissists, who may have relied on their social network to meet new partners. As their social circle becomes smaller, narcissists may find it increasingly difficult to meet potential partners who meet their high standards. They may become increasingly isolated, which can exacerbate their sense of grandiosity and need for admiration.

Struggle with emotional intimacy

Narcissists are often uncomfortable with emotional intimacy, preferring to maintain a sense of emotional distance. As they age, this can become increasingly problematic. They may find it difficult to form the kind of emotional connections that are necessary for long-term relationships. This can frustrate their partners, who may feel neglected or unimportant. The narcissist may become increasingly defensive, viewing their partner's desire for emotional intimacy as an attack on their sense of self-importance.

Difficulty adapting to changes

As people age, they experience various changes, from physical changes to changes in their social and emotional lives. Narcissists may struggle to adapt to these changes, preferring instead to maintain the status quo. They may become rigid in their thinking and behavior, unwilling to try new things or adapt to unique circumstances. This inflexibility can be particularly challenging in a romantic relationship, where compromise and flexibility are often necessary.

Ultimately, while narcissists may have been successful in romantic relationships earlier in life, dating can become increasingly challenging as they age. Narcissists may struggle with various issues, including reduced physical attractiveness, difficulty maintaining long-term relationships, limited social networks, a struggle with emotional intimacy, and difficulty adapting to changes. However, with self-awareness and a willingness to work on themselves, narcissists can overcome these challenges and find meaningful relationships later in life. Therapy, specifically Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), is a powerful tool to help narcissists develop the skills they need to form healthy and lasting relationships.

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/recovering-narcissist/2019/05/5-common-struggles-children-of-narcissists-face-in-adulthood

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