Opinion: Why Does Intimacy Feel So Intense With A Narcissist?

Stacy Ann

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It is not healthy to seek or maintain intimate relationships with narcissists. Narcissists have a pattern of behavior characterized by a sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, and exploitation of others for their gain. These traits can lead to emotional and psychological abuse, manipulation, and control.

That said, some individuals have reported feeling intense connection and pleasure when intimate with a narcissist. So, why does intimacy feel so good with a narcissist?

First, it's essential to understand that narcissists are skilled at creating an illusion of intimacy. They often use charm, flattery, and romantic gestures to seduce their partners. They can make their partners feel special and desired, which is alluring. This can create a sense of excitement and anticipation in the relationship, which can feel good in the moment.

However, it's important to note that this illusion of intimacy is not genuine. Narcissists are incapable of true emotional intimacy because they lack empathy and are focused on their needs and desires. The intimacy they create is a performance designed to manipulate and control their partners.

Another reason intimacy can feel good with a narcissist is because of the intensity of their emotions. Narcissists often have intense emotions that can be captivating to their partners. They may be highly passionate and express their feelings in an attractive and exciting way. This intensity can be mistaken for a deep emotional connection but is often shallow and fleeting.

Narcissists are also skilled at mirroring their partner's emotions. They can reflect back the emotions their partner is feeling, which can create a sense of understanding and connection. This can be especially powerful for individuals who have experienced a lack of emotional connection in their past relationships.

However, it's important to note that this mirroring is not genuine empathy. Narcissists cannot truly empathize with their partners because they lack the ability to understand and relate to other people's emotions. Mirroring is a tactic used to manipulate and control their partners.

Finally, intimacy can feel good with a narcissist because they often have a charismatic personality. Narcissists can be very charming, confident, and entertaining. They may have a magnetic personality that draws people in and makes them feel special. This can create a sense of excitement and adventure in the relationship.

However, it's important to note that this charm is often a mask for their true personality. Narcissists are often deeply insecure and use charisma to hide their flaws and vulnerabilities. Their charm can be a tool used to manipulate and control their partners.

It's important to understand that while intimacy may feel good with a narcissist at the moment, it is not sustainable or healthy in the long term. Narcissists are incapable of true emotional intimacy, and their behavior is often manipulative and abusive.

The aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist can be devastating. Individuals in a relationship with a narcissist often report feelings of confusion, shame, and emotional trauma. Narcissists are skilled at gaslighting and may make their partners question their reality. This can lead to a loss of self-esteem and a sense of isolation.

If you suspect that you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it's essential to seek support from a mental health professional. A therapist can help you navigate the complex emotions and dynamics of the relationship, and provide you with tools to move forward healthily.

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