Opinion: Narcissists Use Social Media As A Weapon

Stacy Ann

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Lately, I’ve noticed a terrifying trend with the content creators, therapists, and bloggers that I follow who deal with narcissistic abuse. Many of the women/men that were victims of abuse and trying to share their healing journey are being stalked by their narcissistic exes online.

The reality is that social media is a dangerous tool, especially in the hands of someone manipulative and abusive.

When we put our entire lives online for the world to see, we are putting ourselves at risk to have that information used for evil instead of good.

Based on personal experiences and the stories of several survivors, this is how a narcissist can utilize social media to their advantage.

#1. They can learn what you like in order to mirror you

You have to remember that someone who has narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t want to get to know you because they are truly interested in you. They want to get to know your strengths/weaknesses so that they know how to manipulate you further down the line.

Having access to your social media accounts can give them an easy way to find out more about your likes, interests, hobbies, and desires. -Shahida Arabi

Unfortunately, we live in a day and age where our online profiles can give a complete stranger information about what we like, where we live, who our friends are, and where our lives have taken us.

I remember early in my relationship with the narcissist where he would claim to like the same things as me (musicals and dance) and later on, I learned he didn’t at all. I suspect he looked at my social media prior to us dating and he mirrored my interests.

#2. They can use it to play the victim

The moment that I ended things with my narcissistic ex, he immediately posted a quote from a Bob Dylan song we used to listen to while driving in the car.

“I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul… but don’t think twice it’s alright.”

The quote was up within the hour that I had broken up with him, and the flurry of comments poured in. Everyone asked what was wrong, how they could help, that he deserved better, and he was loving it.

I remember reading comments where he told people that I had cheated on him, never really loved him, and that I had broken his heart.

The reality is that I ended things because he had gone from emotionally abusing me to trying to physically abuse me, but it didn’t seem to matter. He knew how to play the victim role immediately online, and his harem was happy to stick by his side.

#3. They can cyber-stalk, harass, and smear your name

There is a woman I know who began creating content after breaking up with her narcissistic ex where she exposed his abusive antics in a series of videos.

Since then, her ex and his new source of supply have been stalking her videos. They constantly report the videos as inappropriate, leave dozens of cruel comments, and the new supply has even created an account where she posts old photos and videos of narcissistic’s now ex-girlfriend.

“Abusive narcissists can create numerous anonymous accounts to “troll” and stalk their former victims on their various social media platforms, post the victim’s intimate photos or personal information, hack into their accounts, stage smear campaigns online, or even create fake accounts of the victim in an attempt to ruin the victim’s reputation.” -Psychcentral

The creator posted a video where she wondered out loud if she was doing the right thing. Should she keep telling her story or retreat into the background in order to avoid even more harassment?

#4. They can flaunt their new source of supply

Three days after things ended between my narcissistic ex and me, a photo showed up online. The photo showed him with a girl sitting on his lap at our old favorite restaurant. She was kissing his cheek, and he had a huge smile on his face. The caption read: she’s my everything.

Now, I wasn’t naive enough to believe that he didn’t speak to other women. However, the fact that he already had a new girlfriend lined up was shocking to me and it really messed with my head.

I should have deleted my social media account and blocked both my ex and his new girlfriend immediately. Instead, I watched their love story unravel in front of my eyes exactly as he had most likely intended.

Social media gives narcissists the ability to showcase their new relationships and show the old supply that they mean/meant nothing.

Don’t let this stop you from telling your story

This isn’t meant to scare survivors. I simply want to educate you that you are aware of how a narcissist can use your information against you.

None of this stopped me from telling my story. I was scared of what would happen, but I also knew that I needed to help the numerous victims that were in the same situation and needed to have their experiences validated.

The creator I mentioned previously? She didn’t retreat into the background. Instead of caving in, she showed her ex and his new supply that they couldn’t tear her down because she had her group of supporters behind her. She has continued to tell her story and has tens of thousands of followers that are inspired by her every single day.

Sources:

https://esteemology.com/the-narcissist-and-his-harem-why-you-should-decline-membership/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/recovering-narcissist/2019/10/can-you-spot-a-narcissist-online-3-surprising-behaviors-which-reveal-predators-in-cyberspace#1

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I am a writer & relationship consultant that primarily deals with narcissism, overcoming abuse & trauma, and self-love. Contact me @ Blog: carriewynn.com Instagram: carrie_wynnmusings

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