When I was younger, I was extremely avoidant, bordered on emotionally unavailable, and ultimately ended up being the one to walk away from most of my relationships.
There were several exceptions when I met someone even more avoidant (deadly combo), and they ended up losing interest in me before I could jump ship.
Although it was painful, it was never entirely shocking when things ended because there were always indicators that something was off.
Inevitability, there will almost always be certain signs throughout a relationship that points to someone losing interest before things end altogether.
Here are some examples of what you may experience if your partner is begins to lose interest in your relationship.
#1. They start saying all of the qualities you deserve… that they don’t believe they have
During my second semester of college, I started dating Nate, and for a time, we were quite serious. He met my family, we discussed our future together, and he even mentioned marriage at one point.
Nate was a free spirit who seemed torn between two different futures. A more traditional path with me, or one where he could travel the world and explore exotic countries without being tied down to anyone.
Nate began saying that I deserved to be with someone stable and worried that he couldn’t give me what I wanted.
A few weeks later, he was dumping me at a party, and although I was heartbroken, I was far from surprised.
#2. They get irritated at every single thing without reason
Ryan and Rebecca had been dating for over two years, and things were not going well.
Rebecca expressed to everyone that Ryan got mad at her over everything she did. Ryan told his closest friends that he wanted to break up with Rebecca because the things that used to be endearing to him had become utterly irritating.
Instead of communicating his feelings and dealing with them head-on, Ryan continued to let this build up until he blew up at Rebecca. They broke up, and Rebecca realized that his irritation had been a sign that he hadn’t really been interested in her anymore.
#3. They no longer want to be intimate, or it is becoming increasingly rare
When I was in my early twenties, I was in a long-term relationship that started great but took a nose-dive in the last few months that we were together.
As time went on, intimacy between my partner and I decreased. It got to the point where we started sleeping in different rooms. There was one last trip we took together to see his family, and I remember thinking to myself, “yes, this will give us a chance to reconnect!”
Nothing happened during that trip, and I realized it was because I wasn’t attracted to my partner. Although I hadn’t made any effort to initiate everything between us for months, he was shocked when I said I thought things needed to end.
#4. They start investing less and less time in your relationship
When it comes to precious resources, time is arguably the most important and valuable thing that we can give to another person.
Recently one of my close friends ended her five-year relationship. When asked what had happened, she said she realized she felt like she was wasting her time instead of enjoying it for most of their moments together and that it was only fair to cut things off.
In my past relationships that ended, there was always a point near the end when one of us would start pulling away. Quality time spent together would go by the wayside, and excuses would start being made.
Communicate with your partner if you feel like something is off
It is very easy to shy away from the topics of conversation that scare us the most.
There have been relationships when I avoided asking my partners if they were alright, or I kept my true feelings hidden because I didn’t want to know what I already suspected.
Sometimes the conversations that scare us the most are the ones that end up resulting in our growth and happiness long-term.
Talk to your partner even if you don’t want to hear what they have to say. Dealing with the short-term hurt of a break-up is better than dealing with the long-term agony of ending up with the wrong person.