We are human. Most, if not all of us, crave genuine connection whether we want to admit it or not. However, times have changed. Social media is allowing us to be so connected that we don’t have to pick up the phone to call a friend anymore. And who meets in person anymore to start a romantic relationship?
Online dating is here to stay whether we like it or not. Since 1995 with Match.com you have been able to search the interest for a potential partner from the comfort of your home.
Things have certainly evolved since then and today there are dozens of dating apps. The most popular (in my opinion) is Tinder and Bumble but there are plenty of others to try and see if you get better results to find that perfect match.
But many people have started to express dissatisfaction with the apps and the quality of the connections that they are providing. After all, it’s hard to distinguish between someone looking for a relationship or just wanting something casual.
A growing number of millennials are also part of this trend, with multiple studies showing most hate casual culture and online dating — which have become synonymous. They want stability and a relationship built on trust and loyalty. Substance instead of swipes.
One solution that has been presented is what if people were to call their match first? However, this doesn’t always work as some people don’t want to be vulnerable and be the first to call.
In one article, a woman who asked to speak anonymously to talk about her exes said sometimes she “screens” potential dates with a call. She’s tried this a few times, and once averted a date with a guy who was clever on Tinder but “aggressive” on the phone.“I’m really glad I didn’t waste an evening and makeup to talk to him in real life.”
In the new dating world, nobody meets in person anymore. Studies have shown that clients in their 40s and older feel comfortable with a call before the first date. Those in their 30s and younger are “totally spooked” by it.
Men are afraid to approach women for fear of being too aggressive or forward. ”In turn, women have been conditioned to be surprised and almost confused or put off when a guy makes a move to say hello at a bar.”
We have such a limited amount of time in this life and so many of us are now spending quite a bit of that time texting someone that we’ve never even met.
God forbid say that you develop feelings for this person. It can turn into a waste of your time and effort if you don’t end up meeting the object of your affection in person. Though this takes courage I’ve heard far too many friends lament how many times they’ve been stood up or ghosted by someone who just “couldn’t get up the courage to meet them face to face.”
This isn’t to say you can’t find a relationship with the apps. I’ve heard my share of success stories. One of my best friends is in a happy relationship now but this was after years on the app and plenty of bad matches. But I’ve heard far more horror stories than happy endings.
I’m curious to see if things change in the future because I would absolutely love it if there becomes a better way to find a genuine connection that ends up just being another nothing.