**This is a work of nonfiction based on actual events as witnessed and told to me by an acquaintance who experienced them firsthand; used with permission.
Friends can be a tremendous source of support. They are our “chosen family,” the people we rely on and feel closest to. But sometimes, friends can also be a source of stress and conflict.
Maxine, a woman I’m acquainted with, recently discovered the negative impact of having a rogue friend after her fiance canceled the wedding a month before the big day. All because Maxine’s best friend disrespected him on FaceTime.
This was not the first time Maxine’s bestie used disrespectful language to talk to her boyfriend. She’d behaved this way several times throughout their three-year relationship. The incidents seem to become more frequent after the couple got engaged.
Maxine’s fiance was convinced that her best friend was jealous, but she didn’t want to believe it. The two women had grown up together, and she couldn’t imagine her friend being anything but happy for her.
Unfortunately, it turned out that her fiance was right. Maxine’s best friend planned a “last single weekend” so that the two of them could spend quality time together before the wedding festivities kicked off.
Maxine had been looking forward to hanging out with her best friend, but the weekend took a turn for the worse when the other woman started making snarky comments about her fiance.
At first, Maxine blew it off. She figured her friend was just nervous about how marriage might impact their friendship. But then her friend went too far.
While Maxine was on FaceTime with her fiance, her best friend grabbed the phone and started screaming obscenities at him.
What’s worse is she also told him things about Maxine that she had sworn her to secrecy. He canceled the wedding, and now Maxine is left to deal with the aftermath of her best friend’s actions.
“I didn’t want to believe that my best friend could be so heartless and destructive, but she proved me wrong,” Maxine told me.
Maxine lost her best friend and her fiance all in one weekend. She had hoped he would reconsider, but her best friend’s actions hurt him too much to consider giving her a second chance.
“He said that I let things go too far, and I should have dealt with her sooner,” Maxine said. “I guess he’s right, but I wish things could have been different.”
Engagements and weddings can strain friendships.
Some friendships are not built to bear the weight of joy. That may sound crazy, but it’s true.
When one person experiences a significant life event, like getting married, it can strain the friendship. The friend may feel left out or like they are not as important as the person getting married.
Sometimes long-held resentments often surface when friends are poised to walk down the aisle. In a New York Times article, Clinical psychologist Jocelyn Charnas said, “Weddings represent change and usually human beings don’t do well with change.”
Some friends may fear losing their best friend to the new spouse. If the friend is not happy in their own life, it can be hard to see someone else experiencing success.
Jealousy is often at the root of these issues. And when friends are unable to work through their feelings, it can result in the end of the friendship.
Have you ever experienced something similar? How did you handle it? Let us know in the comments below.